Trust me, I'm okay. (Frerard)

Chapter four: The Ghost Of You

Franks POV
I just hugged him. I hugged Gerard as he cried into my chest. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach. My beautiful Gerard.. I couldn't imagine him hurting like this.
"Gee it's gunna be okay I'm not gunna let anybody hurt you."
"Frankie nobody hurts me I mean getting shoved at school I don't care but I just hate myself. I hate everything about me and I just" he started sobbing into my chest again.
"Frank do you love me?" he asked after twenty minutes of crying.
"I think I'm falling for you Gerard. Yes."
"Good. Because I've already fallen for you."
"Gee..." I was hesitant to ask him, but I needed to see how bad it was.
"Yes?"
"Will you um.. show me your arms? I want to see how bad it is."
He nodded and lifted his long sleeves up. What I saw was horrifying. Old, pink scars, from deeper cuts, and new ones, just littered all the way up his forearm. I tried to lift the sleeve more so I could see it all, but Gerard quickly caught on and removed his shirt, holding it over his chest, probably because he was self conscious. The scars and cuts went all the way up his arms, and I spotted multiple cigarette burns and bruises. Probably self inflicted. By this point I was crying, and Gerard was looking down at the floor in sham.
"I'm sorry Frankie." He said like a child who had just broken his mothers plates or something.
"Gerard it's okay. I won't treat you any differently, and I will love you all the same, well maybe not... I'll love you more. And I'm gunna help you through this okay?"
"Alright. I love you... can we sleep? I'm really tired."
"Of course Gee"
We laid in each other's arms, and I fell asleep with our limbs tangled together.

Gerard's POV.
I lay next to Frank, our bodies intertwined. I thought about what happened today. I started to focus more and more on my weight... I was fat wasn't I? if I wasn't being called an 'emo fag' I was being called fat or something like that... maybe I should go on a diet. Before I could think anymore about the topic I fell asleep.

Time skip to mid-next day.

Gerard's POV
"Frankie I don't want to go.. I'm scared..." I said as we sat in my car outside the therapists building.
"Gerard you need this help. And I'm going to sit there holding your hand the whole time, I won't ever leave your side ok? Now come on let's go." He got out of the car, and I reluctantly did the same. He held my hand as we walked into the office. We walked up to the reception desk and the girl there seemed to be about 28, with blonde hair. To happy to be working in a place like this.
"Name please?" she asked with a smile. I looked at Frank nervously, being to shy to talk.
"Gerard Way, and Frank Iero"
"Hmm.. ah yes! go straight down that hallway, third door on the left." She said pointing down a hallway. Frank led me to the door, following the lady's instructions. We walked into the open door, and the therapist; "Mrs. Toro" lifted her head.
"Well hello there!" she said with a sweet tone, smiling. I liked her already. I felt more relaxed knowing she was a nice woman.
"Hi, in Frank, and this is Gerard"
I didn't realize how much I was shaking until Frank said my name.
"Uh uh h-hi." I said, giving a quick wave.
"Please, have a seat!" She motioned to the chairs in front of her.
"So, Gerard, it says in my records that your a current self harmer, and you have had one suicide attempt?"
(This information came from Mikey, Frank and him signed me up for this hell hole while I slept in this morning.)
"Ye-yeah." I said cringing at the memory, Frank gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"Gerard, why do you hurt yourself?" she asked, resting her head on her hands.
"To feel. I feel like I'm not in control. I feel like I deserve it. Because I ha-hate myself."
"What do you feel when you hurt yourself? Anger? happiness? relief?"
"All of the above." I said, she jotted something down on a pad.
I didn't know I was crying until Frankie reached over and wiped tears off my cheek.
"Gerard tell me about your suicide attempt, you don't have to go into detail but telling me a little will help you okay?"
"Well.. from what I can remember I was sitting on the bathroom floor, I, I Uhm.. I" I stuttered at the memory, but knew of I wanted to get better I had to tell her.
"I tried to overdose, I took a whole bottle of anti depressants. And I cut my thighs vertically, de-deep. I remember lying in a pool of my own blood. Mikey, my brother was about to break the door down. I just couldn't get up to open it.." by this point I was sobbing at the memory. I lifted my hand to show I couldn't go on. Frank embraced me in his warm arms and said something to the therapist, I didn't register what he said, I was to busy crying.
Frank led me back out to the car and sat me in the passenger seat. On the way home I eventually fell asleep.