Trust me, I'm okay. (Frerard)

Chapter Fifteen: A Drink For the Horror That I'm In.

TRIGGER WARNING. Sorry guys
Gerards POV:
I sat on my bed, attempting to control my sobs. I couldn't breathe. It felt like somebody was gripping my throat. I screamed into my shaking hands. It felt like tremors..no worse then tremors..more like terror running through my flesh and bone. Frank. My Frank had just been taken from me... could he call me? Could I call him? My body shook as I sobbed, screaming until my throat was raw and irritated. I threw my body at the wall, stumbling towards my desk. I ripped open a desk drawer, and rummaged through the papers, pens, and pencils, finding no pencil sharpener. I fell to the floor with a thud, tears blurring my vision. As I made my way toward my bed, I dug around underneath it in hopes to find some form of alcohol. My hand landed upon a small square bottle. I pulled it out, rum. It would just have to do. I took a swig of the bitter liquid, it burned my already raw throat.
I smashed the bottle against the ground, it shattered into multiple small pieces. Finding the sharpest piece was not a difficult task. I dragged it down my arm in a quick, sharp motion.
Eventually I fell asleep, the alcohol setting into my system.
Mikey's POV
I could hear Gerard crashing and screaming around his room. I sat outside the locked door, failing to get inside. What a horrible brother I was. I couldn't even help him when he needed me...he could be in there killing himself and it's all my fault. Maybe I should kill myself. Gerard doesn't need me. I'm making it worse.
'No Mikey. Stop. Gerard needs you more then anything' I tried to remind myself. I pulled myself to my feet, banging on Gerard's door again.
"GERARD! GERARD OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" I screamed and pounded on the door. I heard a bottle smash.
"You asked for it Gee.." I backed up a good three feet, ran forward, and smashed my body into the door. I repeated this with no success- until I decided to kick it. I kicked the door hard, and it burst open.
It opened to reveal my older brother on the floor, broken glass at his fingertips and blood on his arms. I ignored the tears forming in my eyes and ran to his side.
"Gerard? Gerard can you hear me?" His eyes were barely open. The cuts were shallow, I came to the conclusion this wasn't a suicide attempt. I ripped my hoodie off, wrapping it around Gerard's arm to stop the bleeding. I stood up and started to clean up the glass.
***
"He's gone..my Frankie is gone Mikey." Gerard lay on his bed as I cleaned up his arms- holding back tears. He had this look of emptiness.
"Gee he's not dead..maybe we can go visit him.
"I don't want to just visit him Mikey I want him here. Safe. In my arms."
"I know Gerard."
Gerard's POV:
(Time skip to a few months later, also I know in the beginning of this story I said Gerard was a junior in high school but that's changing to a senior Gerard is 19 and Frank is 17)
It's been three months since I last saw Frank, my nights filled with cigarettes, brief phone calls with him, and alcohol.
I've been working at the local comic book store doing everything I could to make money and save every single penny, in hopes to move to New York- closer to Frank so when he turned 18 in a few months he could live with me. We discussed it on our short phone calls, all he wanted was to be in my arms again. And I could say the feeling was mutual.
My thoughts were interrupted when my co-worker Gabriel said my name.
"Hey Gee, come on its closing time." He said as he was taking a box of comics to the back room.
"Right." I said, taking the paper bills from the cash register to be locked away in a safe for the night.
After our usual closing routine, Gabriel and I left the comic shop going our separate ways home. As I approached our small driveway I sighed, Frank on my mind once again. As I kicked my beat up converse off, I headed straight downstairs to my room, to spend some time alone before school tomorrow. I picked up my phone to see the time- 6:15. Frank would be calling me in about 15 minutes. At least I had something to look forward to. I sat down on my bed, sketchbook and pencil in my hand, I pondered what to draw. Eventually I started to just draw some light lines on the page.
Deep into my drawing, I saw I was drawing Frank. I knew that's what was happening but it didn't seem odd to me, it just seemed okay to be drawing him. I saw my phone light up before it even started to buzz, and I answered it as quickly as humanly possible.
"Hello?" I said, eager to talk to Frank.
"Hi Gee. How are you?"
"I'm good.. what about you Frank?"
We went through the normal routine of asking each other how our days were.
"I worked all day today, I've got enough money saved up that getting an apartment shouldn't be a problem for us." I said, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while.
"I can't wait to just leave this dump."
"I know Frankie, but just imagine- in three months you'll be 18 and you can leave, I'm gunna start looking for apartments tomorrow."
"Okay Gerard, but don't let this get in the way of you applying to college okay?"
"I won't Frankie."
We talked about boring nonsense for the last few minutes of our call until he had to go.
That night I say on my bed, feeling happier, and it was the first night I hadn't fallen asleep drunk and crying.
A/N HEY GUYS OMG ITS BEEN LIKE 718282828202 YEARS. I'm sorry I haven't been updating- personal issues and what not. But I'm back now! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I'm sorry it's kind of short, I've been wanting chapters to be longer for you guys but I hate making you guys wait. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback as well- you guys are awesome! And wow. I'm seeing Frankie February 28! (Also congrats to Bob for finally becoming a realtor)
-Xøang