Chapter 38

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It was currently almost three in the afternoon and I had yet to leave my bed today. It had been over two weeks since I had last spoken with the unknown number and I wasn't doing well. Just as they had promised they continued to remind me every day of what a terrible person I was and how I didn't deserve anything that I currently had. It had gotten worse with some threatening texts and I hadn't been able to stop thinking about them.

I could barely sleep at night and during the day I had the distraction of work but I could only keep busy for so long. Everyone had been occupied with work that we hadn't had time to hang out either. My weekends were otherwise idle, leaving me to my thoughts. All the hate was catching up to me and I had gotten in deep just like Chase had said I would in the beginning. I was so ashamed and continued to beat myself down since I hadn't listened to him in the first place. I needed to get out of this rut though it seemed to go only deeper.

My stomach growled as I hadn't eaten yet today and had only gotten out of bed to use the bathroom. I forced myself to get up and went out into the kitchen. The sun shone brightly through the window and I had to adjust my eyes from being in the dark for so long. I grabbed some chips and a juice knowing I should probably be eating healthier but I hadn't been able to go to the store this week.

"Hey."

I turned quickly not realizing anyone was home and saw Maddie sitting on her bed in her room.

"Oh hi, how's it going?" I asked wishing that she hadn't seen me.

"Good, I just got back," she answered.

I nodded heading to my room before she could ask me any questions. I shut the door behind me and pulled my laptop onto my bed. I put on Netflix as background noise and wrapped myself in my blanket content with staying here for the rest of the day.

I had to film tomorrow with Chase and Charles but other than that I only had one other scene at the end of the episode on the airport strip which was next week. Then we only had two episodes left, only a month left with my friends. What was going to happen after we finished filming? Everyone lived all around the country, it wasn't possible just to go visit each other for the weekend. What about Chase and me? Was he going to want to continue our relationship once the summer was over? How would long distance even work? I hadn't even had the chance to even try long distance before I was turned away. Chase would most likely be down in Florida and I would have to go back to New Jersey. Who even knew where my career would go from here? This was my first big break and if I blew it then that was it. I'd have to start all over again.

My phone rang as a text came in and I shut my eyes, breathing in slowly before picking it up beside me.

Chase Stokes
What are you up to?

Rosalie
Nothing much. Why?

Chase Stokes
Just checking in. You wanna do anything tonight?

Rosalie
I don't know. What did you have planned?

Chase Stokes
Some of the guys might go out golfing or something if you wanted to join us.

Rosalie
That's okay. I'm not one to golf very much. I'll just see you when you get back

Chase Stokes
Okay, I love you.

I set my phone down and breathed a sigh of relief that it was only Chase. I went back to watching Criminal Minds and continued snacking on the chips. It wasn't until late that Chase had texted me that he was on his way back and so I shut my computer and got ready for bed so that he wouldn't pester me with questions about how I was feeling. I didn't want to talk to anyone, not right now. Though I did know that it would make me feel all the more better just to be around my friends and have the distraction, no matter how far I tried to get away from my problems they would still be there. What were they going to be able to do anyway? All I felt was alone and hopeless.

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