Stars in our Hearts

Three

A

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I bathed my heart to the moon and told her how much I loved myself... enough to let everything else go.

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"Let me get this straight. He said, and I quote, you were desperate to talk to him?"

I suck on the straw, the juice making its way through. Cold and sour, just the way I like it. "It doesn't matter." Slurp. "I don't want him as a model." Or as anything else. No matter how much of an attention seeker I may seem to him.

I still can't wrap my head around last night. When he said that, I felt so... disturbed. A bucket of invisible cold water dumped on me then. I knew he was an indecent and disrespectful asshole, I just didn't think he was that much of an asshole.

"I get that you're mad, Aly. But he's so well-known. It's gonna help you... a lot, if you keep him around." She takes a bite of her tuna sandwich, "Every time he enters a room, the attention goes to him. People would pay attention to you if he stays."

I know, I know. But I don't want to use him for the sake of winning. It makes me feel incapable of doing that on my own.

And maybe I am incapable of doing it on my own, but I'd rather be incapable and independent than work with Crius.

Yesterday he said one thing but tomorrow he might say two. How long before he actually puts his words into action?

A shiver runs up my spine. Let's not think like that, I'd rather keep my sanity for today's meeting.

"Mara's well-known too. I'll be fine."

"Crius is—"

"Right here."

Oh god, seriously? You just had to throw him in my face while I was talking about him?

Hemera was staring behind me at the man himself. I couldn't see him, obviously, otherwise I'd have an urge to plant a black eye on his pretty face.

From what I remember, he has brown hair just like Mara and hazel eyes too? Not sure. Not that it even matters. Beauty was nothing when it was on the outside, not when there was a beast ready to pounce from the inside.

I knew who Crius was when he came into the café the other day. I've known him for a while, since I work in this kind of... work, obviously. I just couldn't remember his name and you can't blame me. Crius? Really? Like who named him?

His name sounds like something people these days would name a car. And me? I don't know shit about cars. Nor do I give a shit.

"I'm really sorry about last night, it was... fuck, it wasn't what it seemed like. I was sick and—"

"And why are you explaining this to me?" I managed to keep my voice calm, unbothered. I'm not sure how I did, but I did.

I was bothered by his words, by his impression of me. Any woman would be, but I shouldn't expect better from a man like him. He was... a man and they never change.

Hemera's gaze softens when they meet my own. She raises her eyebrows slightly. Hear him out.

Oh fuck no. Men lie, he's gonna twist his words around and stab me with the thorns he's hiding. I don't mind hearing out the truth, if there was something worth listening to.

I shrugged, no.

As if remembering I had something extremely delicious in front of me, I suck on the straw, which makes a loud slurping noise that echos off the walls of the room.