Stars in our Hearts

Twenty Four

C

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some words were better left to comfort the dark.
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"So you're leaving? Sarnai is in two weeks and you're leaving?"

Charose looks up from her computer, her glasses on the bridge of her nose. The makeup she had on did nothing to hide the dark circles around her eyes.

"I have things to do," I simply replied.

I didn't have to explain anything to her. She was nobody to me, she never will be.

"What things do you have to do in Aspen?" I regret telling her I was going to Aspen. It means she'll tell Dorian who will then have a reason to beat me again.

"That's none of your business, auntie."

"You've grown some balls since the last time we've talked. Is it Alida who's changing you or is the belt against your skin that is?" Using other's pain to make herself feel better, what a low way to go even for her.

You weren't any better, telling Alida that her dad didn't love her.

We're over that, I apologized.

You really think she forgave you?

"I'm sorry, that was out of line," she added. She took the glasses off, rubbing her eyes with two fingers.

"Yes, it was." I didn't care. It doesn't matter to me anymore. She never has mattered to me, not once.

But you did care at one point.

She pushed the chair back, and got up. "I don't want to hurt you, Crius. But you make me." She walked around the desk to where I was standing.

My hands fisted against my side, so eagerly, as if I were about to throw a punch if she didn't stop me.

"You sound like Dorian." I stated, looking into the way-too similar eyes. Dorian and her could've been twins.

'Would it kill you to be a good boy for him? He's not that bad."

He's not that bad?

Being whipped by a belt and a cane doesn't make him not bad.

"He's not that bad when he doesn't hit." He is a bad person and a bad man. He's a terrible guy and should be wiped out from existence but I'm choosing to be kind today. "He's a dominant man, I get that. But dominance doesn't mean hurting people, it means power, yes, but not pain."

"Every power comes with pain."

"You want his money. You want his reputation. You want his family. You want everything he has. There is no pain with power. There's ego, arrogance and pride. I don't see a single ounce of pain within either of you," I remarked. She looked down at her feet.

That's right. Be ashamed of yourself.

"I'm not trying to protect him," she said.

"And yet, you did by not speaking up for me."

"What was I supposed to do? He used to hit me too."

Which is why I don't get it. She should stand up for me, protect me, be my wall and nurture my vulnerability rather than use it against me.

"Which is inexcusable on his part. But I was a child when he began, a child. You had the choice, the opportunity to save someone from psychological trauma, the same trauma you've dealt with, and you didn't. Why... Why didn't you save me from him?"