Stars in our Hearts

Seventeen

A

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do you remember me? or do you only remember what it felt like to be loved by me?
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I've bitten my lip several times already. I'm losing it. I'm officially going insane.

He hasn't texted or called since we kissed, he hasn't explained why he said sorry or why he ran off. I wouldn't be mad if he explained. I wouldn't have been. He told me about himself and I wouldn't have cared if it was because he was uncomfortable or anything.

It's important to communicate, it is.

But at least communicate completely, asshole.

Okay not an asshole, he's not an asshole.

"Alida," I look up from my phone. Charose's heels clicked on the floor loud enough to show everyone she was either coming up to me to please me or to make a fool out of me. "Do you finally have something?" Nope.

"I think I'll have something soon," I reply.

"I think isn't a good enough answer. You have to take this competition seriously."

Giving Crius jobs isn't enough to make up for your silence.

"I know. I'm almost done."

"For your sake, I hope so. You only have a month left."

Clearly, I'm not counting down the days myself.

"They'll be done by then."

She stands there for a minute, clearing her throat. I looked up from the sketches that were mediocre and were not being used in the competition. The ones I finalized were hanging in my storage office. They weren't bad, they would catch attention but they didn't speak to me. "Hm, have you seen Crius?"

"Why would I have seen Crius?" She doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as him.

"You're friends, aren't you?"

"Right. Friends."

Friends who kiss. Friends who like to feel each other's bodies warmth. Friends who are too close to be friends.

"Let me know when he comes, will you?" She turns around. I work for her, I work for this miserable woman. Shame, it's what I'm filled with.

"I'm not your assistant right now," I mustered up the courage.

She laughed, amused. "You're my assistant all the time."

"You should've thought about that when you told me to join Sarnai."

She turned around. There was misery in her eyes, and I swear I think a little pride or fear passed her eyes. As it should, I was quiet but I wasn't silent.

"I- okay." Mouth agape, she walked away.

Hemera walked in right after. "She even looks like a witch."

I laughed. There are times when Hemera and I don't seem to see eye to eye. We don't click but she's my best friend and she feels like home. Right now, it was exactly what I needed. "Hey, when did you come in?"

"Just now, we're finally having a meeting after two months. This is a good sign, I knew you could do this." Leave her to lift my mood.

"While I still have doubts with myself, I'm sort of more confident than I was in the beginning."

"Good, I'm glad. Also, how was your date with Sorin?" She grabbed a seat in the open lounge. I was really hoping we wouldn't have to talk about this. Sighing, I close the book.

"It was... good."

"Uh oh."

"No, no it was good. It just wasn't, um, what I expected."

She sat up straight, eyes widening. "And something happened with someone else."

"What happened?"

I bit my lip. I should tell her, she's my best friend. She'll understand and she'll know what to say. "I kiss-"

"Good morning, people." Mara tied her hair up, or well whatever she could tie up. There were jasmines stuck to her hair.

"Hey."

Panic, panic, panic.

Leave room? No, that would be too obvious.

Avoid the situation and die? Sounds ideal, but too extra.

I look at Hemera, pleading with my eyes. Come on, do your telepathic bestie connection and read my mind! She gave me a weird look, mouthing what's wrong with you? I sighed, this was useless.