Stars in our Hearts

Twenty Three

A

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we belonged even before we knew we would belong.
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We stared at each other in shock. None of this made sense, we were... both of us were... I can't wrap my head around it.

Crius was my first love.

Crius was buttercup.

"I don't know what to say," I admitted. I honestly had no clue what I should say to him. He was this... guy I liked back then. This boy who carried the world on his back and other's hearts in his hands. This man was that boy.

"Neither do I," he stood up off the ground as soon as I got off him, and paced the room. Running his hands through his hair, he looked back at me, the ground space I occupied. Opening his mouth and then closing it, a repeated process. T

There was so much to say yet no way to say it.

"You're buttercup," I whispered.

"You're bean."

"Holy shit." I leaned my back against the wall. Something needs to support me even if it isn't the large man standing a couple of feet away from me.

"You were her."

"And you were him."

"I was your first love."

Out of all the things...

"You were my first guy friend."

He studied me before taking a deep breath. His eyes calculated, skimming over memories. I watched him, fascinated by the way he froze. "But it was also you then."

I got off the floor, rubbing my sweaty hands on the back of my jeans. "When?"

"The girl who covered my eyes for me."

I'm great and all that but I don't know if that was- "Me?"

"I saw you, someone said your name." He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends. "Someone called your name, it was Alida. I remember."

Slowly, I walked towards him. "When was this?"

"December, my birthday. Eight years ago."

"December 8, 2013? That was..."

That day. Dad got a phone call the day before from Crius's dad. He wanted us to see Crius's first runway show. I was ecstatic, more than excited. Not only would it have been the first time I'd ever see NYC and... and my mom. "Holy shit."

"What?" He now stood in front of me, too close and yet too far.

"That was your debut day right? Your first runway show."

"Yes, it was."

This is insane. "Dad took me to see you, he said you'd be surprised and happy. I remember, I remember you and covering your eyes. How could I forget? You looked so different though, I didn't recognize you then. All I saw was a boy who was afraid and shaking. I wanted to help but I didn't know it was you."

He thought about it for a second. "The weight. You didn't recognize me because I lost all my fat."

"That's why I didn't recognize you now either. But now that I... now that I look at you. I can see it, I can see you." And I saw him. The same brown hair, the same grey eyes, the same beautiful smile, the same dimples, the same person.

He never changed. He was still quiet and lost, and yet... and yet I couldn't recognize him.

It wouldn't have been love, then. Because when you love someone, despite how they show up in front of you, you remember them.