Falling - Bellamy Blake X Reader

Chapter 34

(BELLAMY POV)
The moment we arrived back at camp I made sure to get a head start to Clarke. Not only have I not seen her since I left with the grounders but I desperately needed to fill her in on everything that's happened since I've left. Most of it regarding Y/n and how she's now with the grounders but some of it involving the treaty I've managed to pretty much fully develop. I assumed she'd be in the drop ship so I went to check there first but before I could even get within 10 feet of it a heard the beginning of a speech take place. I knew it was Y/n the moment the first word left her mouth. I'm not quite sure why I went so long to deny myself it was her under the hood because no portion of time could pass that would cause me to forget her blissful voice. I try continuing my trek to the drop ship but the amount of power and confidence she projects makes my feet stop dead in their tracks. Y/n had always had some sort of authority but, now this seemed to be her world and we were just living in it.

Watching the way her body moved so flawlessly as she addressed everyone was like watching a mix between Aphrodite and Athena walk the earth. Aphrodite representing her exquisite beauty while the goddess Athena portrayed how well rounded she was in things regarding warfare. During my stay with the grounders I had probably went over what I would say if I ever saw her again a million times but no matter how much I had rehearsed it didn't matter because on the way here I said maybe the dumbest possible thing I could have. If she didn't totally hate me before she definitely did now. Even though at times I had tried my best to convince myself I was over her and what we had was just some puppy love but the moment I saw her e/c eyes all the memories we shared together came flooding in. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm still and will always be madly in love with Y/n. The moment she finishes up her speech and begins talking to the grounder I continue back to my trek to Clarke.

Thankfully my search for Clarke didn't last long considering she was in the very place I expected her to be. "Guess who's home." I announce as I enter the drop ship and see Clarke, Murphy, Finn, Jasper, and Monty all seated at table with our communication device to the ark. 

"Holy shit." Clarke exclaims before engulfing me in a friendly hug. After greeting everyone within the drop ship we sit down at one of the tables and began catching up on various things, most of it consisting of all our well-beings. Just as I was about to fill them in on the topic regarding Y/n a very familiar voice interrupts me by asking, "Do I not get a welcome back party?" We all turn our attention to the owner of the voice whom I instantly recognize to be Y/n but glancing to the other I come to find they seem to be having trouble placing an identity upon her. After I few short seconds their once confused faces churn into ones of realization.

Octavia and her came to the table where they all played catch up while I sat back and stared at Y/n the whole. No matter how hard I tried to pry my gaze off her it just kept returning back to her. I knew I wanted to speak to her but I wasn't sure what about, maybe to apologize for our brief conversation on the way here or to admit I'm still deeply in love with her, I wasn't sure. The only thing I was certain about is that I wanted, no, needed to speak to her to just at the very least have her know that the only cheating thing was a misunderstanding. I had never been a relationship type of guy until I met her and I had no clue what I was doing, but now I do and I'm determined to make it up to her, even if its the very last thing I do. But no matter how bad I wanted to be with her it didn't matter because deep down I knew she deserved someone so much better then I could ever be. Before I knew it 2 hours had passed and Y/n was bidding everyone goodbyes until morning. Just as I was about to get up and ask Y/n to speak to her Octavia stopped me by giving me the "oh no you don't" glare which made me sit right back down.

"You're not going anywhere until we talk." Octavia declares as everyone leaves the drop ship making it only us left. 

"Octavia can we do this wait till tomorrow? I'm exhausted." I question not wanting to deal with her ranting about whatever she was planning to go on about. "No because for one I haven't seen you in months, two this talk can't wait another second, and three I couldn't care less if you're tired or are on your death bed we're having this conversation right now." She declares with a glint of seriousness in her eyes. 

"Fine, what's so important that it couldn't be pushed off till the morning?" I ask whilst running my hands through my untamed hair. 

"Well to start off its great to see you big brother and I'd like to welcome you back home," she playfully begins which earns a glare from me, "okay, okay, jeez no need to be a buzz kill. Anyways the such urgent matter has to do with Y/n." Octavia continues and just at the mention of Y/n's name I tense up and my breathing stops almost completely.

"Do you still love her?" She inquires and in reply I give her nothing but total silence, I barely wanted to admit it to myself at times so why would I openly admit it to someone, even if that someone was my sister who I loved and trusted dearly. 

"You know what stupid question, the answer is obvious." She shrugs with an all knowing grin finding its way onto her face. 

"The answer is obvious?" I quiz not understanding how I've been obvious about my love for Y/n. 

"Bell, you couldn't take your eyes off her the whole entire time we sat here. You also get this weird shimmer in your eyes when you look at her." Not knowing how to reply I stay silent. 

"How do you plan on getting her back after your major fuck up?" She asks taking my silence as a signal to continue on with her love talk. 

"I don't." I whisper barely loud enough for her to hear but she sure does because she abruptly stands up while giving me a dissatisfied look.

"What do you mean, you don't?" She asks in the volume that could wake up the whole camp if she proceeds on with yelling like she is. 

"Because I blew my chance, I fucked up. She not only deserves better than me but by the looks of it she's already found better." I harshly answer thinking back to all the times I've seen her under the hood or not with River. 

"That most definitely complicates things." Octavia admits with wide eyes as she takes a seat once again. 

"No shit." I huff whilst leaning back into my chair. 

"Bell, you're a great guy who just made very stupid decisions like really idiotic, but that doesn't make you a terrible person. You need to talk to her, the real you not the fake arrogant persona you use to protect yourself from getting hurt." She advices before getting up and exiting the drop ship leaving me alone with my thoughts that consisted of Y/n, and only Y/n.

*finished editing*