A Short Angst (Request)

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Life isn't always fair..

"Great work Hayato!"

Life is cruel sometimes.

"Finnaly.. We can relax together"

Life is Unpredictable

"No one else, only You"

And Life also makes contracts.

"I love you.."

With death..

There's no hiding the tears I've shed since your not here with me anymore.
There's no hiding the fact that i no longer sleep in our bed.
It's cold... it's cold without your warmth.

Even though i don't use it. I still clean it everyday, it reminds me when i use to have my arms around you, my head in your hair and my heart against yours.

Many things i went through alone, i planned them all to get through with you, ofcourse i did you're the love of my life!

I miss you Ryuu Come back to me.


I pray to God everyday, that someday you would come back to me, knocking on my door with that radiat smile of yours after so you'll kiss me passionately as you say im home when im with you.

I started talking less, because every breath that i take in and out i planned them all for you, telling you that i'll always love you and we'll stay together.. Forever. But.. Why you? Why is my happiness was taken away from me?

I want you back, i want you here with me. I want you to hug me while i cry for you. But all is false hope as time and life doesn't look back, doesn't turn
And doesn't wait.

Sleeping on the couch was not fun, you aren't there cuddling me, kissing my forehead, stroking my hair and lying your head against my chest. Driving alone isn't fun also, you aren't there holding my hand, play our favorite songs and kissing my cheek to cheer me up.

Baseball isn't fun anymore, my matches aren't complete with your.
"Go Hayato! I love you!!!" I can only hear your voice back then even in a stadium full of people

My heart only yearns for one person, its only you. Please... If you cant stay here living and breathing beside me.. please stay in me...living in my heart.


I've grown to hate the colour Black. It makes me sick since i saw you for the last time In your suit, in your casket as
Tears welled in my eyes before you went up there
one with the stars.

I know you can hear me, i know your looking out for me. I know that i'll continue to love you until i go up there with you. And when i do go up there just know that i won't let you go ever again..

"We're going to live life the fullest Together.. Hayato Kamitani!"

And now here i am.. Living my life without you. The life i live without you is pointless, but if it makes you happy... Im going to live it to my fullest even though... The person i wanted to live it with.. Isn't here with me!

You're selfish for wanting me to live in this world when you are my world!.. but its your wish and i can't seem to deny you i love too dang much!


Now continue being happy up there, your innocence is spoiled in this rotten place and please Wait for me Ryuu, wait for me... When i go up there and see you, i won't let you go... Not ever

For what you've done to me
For what you've given to me
I want to say

I love you Ryuu.

I love you so so much..

I love you Ryuuichi Kashima.




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