How to Have a Heartbeat? (Book Two)

Chapter 32: Dream

Chapter Thirty-Two

Dream

Sena

The blackness devoured me, keeping me captive in that of a cocoon. There was nothing here. No dreams. No happiness. Not an ounce of light shined upon me and for a moment – a single moment – I began to feel terror of the silence and solitude of the dark that seemed to linger around me.

When I tried to move my hands, which stayed firm at my sides, I found that they were bound. And it was silent, all except the steady, quiet gasps of my lasting breath.

I was supposed to be dreaming – but all I saw was the blackness of a hardened barrier. I didn't know what to do or how to move.

Anri was silent. In a dream like state, I could barely feel her, just barely at my side. She was at peace. The echo of her memories were all I saw. The happiness of her smile. The embrace of her lost family.

A loving sister and brother, and their smiles drifted in the darkness of night. It felt cold. I felt cold. I could see Anri was in the warmth of her dreams.

I should have known.

I am not alive. Not really. I am not corporeal.

I haven't the body for the Jutsu to take.

Will I be stuck in the darkness, forever watching someone else live?

Again?

This will be my life again.

I felt numb as if the light had taken me apart. The light I could see but never feel.

I should have known.

This is all there will ever be for me. Something doesn't want me to breath life. Maybe I should finally just stop trying to.

I should stop striving for anything. Maybe then, when death finally hits me, the fear and emptiness would be numbed.

The thought of me dying, seemed to strike an unconfined anger. For me to die like this...I wouldn't be anything less than pathetic.

The thought of me dying in the hands of someone else's bodies...pathetic and alone...Once again dying as I lived, with nothing that was fully my own.

I want to be me.

I already tried living longer. Taking Anri's body. Sharing a body with someone once again. Nothing was mine.

I hoped that my chances of being affected by the Jutsu would increase once I had a fully human body, but even that seemed to backfire.

I moved my fingers, finding them stiff at my side. The more I attempted to move the more restricted I had begun to feel. I felt bound to the body, and the strength that retained all my movement. The chill that ran up my spine didn't cancel out the pain of my restricted airway. In the past, pain hadn't been such an issue, and yet now–with this body, I had little to no experience with the nature of pain.

Once upon a time, I had been able to handle the breaking of my limbs, the ripping of my skin, the feeling of my neck, being slowly cut off from my body.

Now here I was, about to be defeated by suffocation.

My fingers twitched again from their place at my side. My legs were wrapped up in a sticky substance that I couldn't see. This much Madara seemed to leave out of the plan, but I suppose he didn't plan for many things that have seemed to happen. I know I didn't. If I had known, what would I of done differently?