How to Have a Heartbeat? (Book Two)

Chapter 28 : Enemies of War

 Sana

       I don't know what I was thinking.

      He is so infuriating and he thinks he so awesome. I don't understand a single thing about this new Sasuke, at least back in the Leaf I had some remote sense of who he was; hell, I even thought I could relate to him... but this version. I didn't even know who he is anymore and it was as if I were looking at different person.

       Or maybe it was not his fault but my own? How could I even begin to know and understand someone else when I didn't even know or understand myself?

       I miss Sena.

       It was strange how you think more about a person when they were away than when they were close. When she was actually here all she did was make me frustrated or guilty, but when she was away I felt like a part of me was missing. It felt weird and no matter what I did it wouldn't get better.

       ...And that pain from before? The blood that felt like it had no end. I couldn't figure out what happened or if she was safe... and it was the not knowing that was the most painful. She was like my bitchy sister that only I could care for. She may have started out as me, but she became her own person many decades ago, centuries even, so I treated her as a new person.

       So what was I to do if she was gone? Would I just continue on? Just like that? I don't really know how to mourn anyone, and I never did. I never mourned anyone before, not my father or my mother or Kannon or Enma, no one really. Maybe I am the heartless one? Even as I think back on all their deaths I don't feel sad, my memories of so long ago are forgotten. I can't even remember what my mother or Kannon's face really looked like, let alone how I grieved for their death. Did I cry?

       In my thoughts I hardly even noticed Sasuke's sudden halt, causing me to crash into his back, my nose bruising against his body; but the tiny sting didn't have enough time to hurt as the tattoos burned and dissipated against my skin. Sasuke gave the smallest of glances towards me before his attention was taken elsewhere.

       "Orochimaru," Sasuke greeted, his voice slightly cold, but mostly it sounded nostalgic. I, however, was completely lost for I had only snippets of what was going on in the real world whilst still inside Sena's mind, and of those little glimpses I could have sworn Orochimaru was dead. I guess the saying really is true and some people really do take a lot to stay dead.

       And how long was I spacing out? I didn't even know where I was. We were in front of some cheap destroyed building that was barely standing up... wait a second. Are we in the Leaf village? How did I miss that? This place doesn't look much like my memory of it... It really has changed quite a bit.

       How much have I missed exactly? I really wished I had someone who could fill me in...

       Sasuke gave me a not so gentle shove forward when I didn't walk with the rest of them, causing my eyes to narrow on him before I frowned and continued nonetheless, feeling slightly like a prisoner.

       I kind of ignored most of the comments that were thrown back and forth since I didn't really care much for things I didn't understand. In fact... I am surrounded by people I didn't trust. I wouldn't trust Sasuke with anything, and the same went with Orochimaru (who I would have preferred to have stayed dead, so what moron brought brought this dick back), and I didn't even know who this "Suigetsu" and "Juugo" were, so trusting them was out. Not to mention Suigetsu kind of reminded me of a pedophile shark of some sort, which was altogether screamed the level of dickass.