How to Have a Heartbeat? (Book Two)

Chapter 23: Two Heartbeats

I could only stare at Sasuke's back as we continued to run and jump from tree to tree. Not once did we touch the ground. I was thankful for this sudden stamina that Sena had built for me. It was a relief that I wasn't tired yet.

In my short time with this Sasuke, I've come to notice one thing. Whenever he was surprised his entire body would tense. I don't know how I became aware of this, and maybe it was because I was raised to examine those who may be a threat to me. Maybe it was because I've been looking at his back too much. Whatever it was, I wasn't sure.

I've also recently realized that I don't like him that much. Whatever I was feeling was Sena's lingering thoughts. At least, this was what I was telling myself. It was hard to decipher the feelings I had, and everything seemed to ramble together in my head. They felt like my emotions, but they were harsher than I've ever had.

So with all that on my mind, I didn't really care what my feelings for him were anymore. I just wanted to find meaning in my life again.

What was I supposed to do now with this "life"? As if I can even call this life.

I wanted to find out why I'm living. I wanted to find out whom I'm living for. I've lived too long. All of my real friends have long since died. That's not completely true. Sena herself murdered most of them. And then she succeeded in creating this huge distance between the ones I had only just began to make as Sana Itadori.

It hurt to think of my mixed feelings for her. She could be gentle to me, but on the most part, her bitterness that she had towards me made me rethink what I thought of her.

Maybe it was good that she was dead. Everyone was always so charmed by her humor and her wit and her unbelievable charm that they looked past just how cold she was. She always had an aura for making others want to try and get close to her, and yet that same aura kept her from doing the same. Such a distance seemed to only make her even more...cold.

I felt my running start to slow and this immediately caught Sasuke's attention.

"Why?" Sasuke asked curtly, referring to my lack of speed. I instantly gulped at the emotionless expression he was giving me. The rain was still just as painful and cold against my face and now that I slowed down it was even more noticeable.

"Why are you traveling with me?" I asked curiously; although, by "me" I meant Sena. I made sure to leave that detail out. I didn't know why I was lying to him. I honestly don't think he'll believe me if I told him in the first place. I doubted that I'd explain it well enough anyway. I didn't even have enough information on the matter to even try and explain the situation. Sena's memories were behind this wall that was too high to climb. And honestly, I was kind of scared to see what was on the other side of that wall. A part of me didn't want to know the horrors of our past...and some things were probably better left unseen.

"Why are you asking this?" Sasuke replied as he came to a halt and slowly turned to me from his spot on the tree branch. I stopped next, mirroring him. I couldn't stop the chill that ran down my spine at his gaze, but he didn't notice it.

"I want to know," I answered with a frown.

"Why?" He repeated his question and my frown deepened. He was avoiding answering me.

"Because if I don't get a good enough reason, I see no point in staying," I answered and he raised an eyebrow before the left side of his lips curled up and he closed his eyes for a moment.