The Black Coyotes Pet

24.

"I don't advise that." Quinn said sternly. I pursed my lips and continued to the door. "Elliot!" Quinn called after me. "You're not the boss of me!" I yelled turning around for a split second. "What's going on? Why's there so much yelling?" Tristan came in the door.

"I'm leaving." I said through gritted teeth. "Where?" He asked. "Why does it matter to you?" I glared up at him. "Don't leave, kitten." Chase said. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I pushed my way past Tristan and made a run for it.

I heard someone call after me but I was too busy running and crying to notice who it was. I ran as far as my legs could take me and that was far enough. I'd run more tomorrow. Luckily for me I was on the cross country team in high school but unluckily I was now out of shape and wasn't eating much.

I sat down against a log and looked up to the sky. It was getting dark out and it wasn't warm weather. "I didn't think this out very well." I scratched the back of my neck, sighing. I stretched the t-shirt over my whole self and rested my chin on my knees. I started crying again but not as violently.

I made myself alone once again. I'm stupid stupid stupid.

But I didn't need them to protect me. I was very capable of that myself. I don't know why I thought I needed them. I scribbled in the dirt with a stick but then it broke and I got frustrated so I started stabbing it into the ground.

I think what made me mad is the fact that I felt the same feeling I felt when I saw Cyrus cheating on me. I felt not good enough or maybe not handsome or pretty. Was Quinn only being nice so he could do what he did to me last night? I have mixed emotions about it all.

"I didn't want any body else's attention I wanted Quinn's but... for some reason he was mad at me. I hope he doesn't take it out on the others." I wiped my face. I want to be a good boy for Quinn but I also don't want him to be mad at me for things I didn't do.

"No. Elliot ugh your such an idiot." I couldn't get out of this head space. I don't think I wanted to but my mind and body were thinking two different things.

God if Quinn finds me out here I'll be as good as dead. I whimpered just thinking about it.

Why did I want him? No, why do I need him as much as I do? I need them all.

It's cold and I want to be close to at least one of them.

Idiot.

I'm supposed to be mad at them. I grabbed my hair in my fist and groaned frustratedly. "I have no where to go even if I did go back."

Why do I make everyone hate me? What do I do to make everyone hate me? I bit my lip to keep it from trembling but tears clouded my eyes. I wanted to go back but I don't want to be in trouble.

I feel so conflicted right now maybe I should get some sleep.

——

Welp, update I didn't get much sleep and whatever sleep I did get didn't help. I brushed whatever dirt I got on myself last night off and stood up. I started walking I don't know where because I lost my sense of direction and didn't know where I was going and I wouldn't even if I didn't lose my sense of direction.

Not to mention I was in the woods and every direction looked the same but I'm pretty sure I was walking away from the house. It was still cold this morning so that was a lot of help. I wish I could just start my life over and maybe I wouldn't feel so bad for myself right now.

I hate feeling bad for myself.

Why do those words exist together?

I made myself sick but didn't eat anything yesterday so I ended up dry heaving till I had a massive headache and had to sit. I closed my eyes and rested there.