chapter 9 °

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            "Si puedo soportar lo que siento,
              ¿por qué me 'toy cayendo?..."

"Who's winning now?" Sunwoo said grinning"Kill her" haechan said looking directly at sunwoo and how his grin disappeared out of his face in an instant

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"Who's winning now?" Sunwoo said grinning
"Kill her" haechan said looking directly at sunwoo and how his grin disappeared out of his face in an instant. It wasnt the answer that he or she would expect. The words coming out of his voice like poison, it pained her how he said it without any trouble or hesitation. The words replaying in her mind as she stared at him not believing what he said. Just like her all eyes where on him when he blurted out his thoughts, the nct members taken by surprise thinking she was important to him but it seemed otherwise or so they thought.
After a pause, sunwoo made a movement pulling out a knive pressing it to her kneck a small droplet of blood visible. "But if you do, just know all of your members will be dead by tomorrow and i'll leave you alive to suffer alone." Donghyuck said this time he was the one grinning. Sunwoo's face becoming pale knowing he had no chance he stopped pressing the knive in her skin. He let her go throwing her towards jaemin who took her to the back of their van to treat her wound. As the nct members were retrieving haechan was still in his position with sangyeon in front of him shooting his gun to sunwoo's leg as he let out a painful scream, but the members couldnt fire knowing he could do something to their leader in front of him. "Next time its on the head" he said harshly letting go of sangyeon walking to the van where the rest were waiting.

Haechan hopped on the back, the car ride back to the base silent only the soft voices of jeongha and jaemin checking for any injuries.

They had arrived to their so called home late at night. Most of the members out to sleep some out making deals, others in their office.
                          
                          TW: SELF HARM

Jeongha didnt say anything just walking to her room, entering she went straight to the bathroom after grabbing what she hadnt after a few weeks, cold in her hands she thought it was time for her to stop but the night just stressed her too much, making herself believe it was her fault. 'They could have died if something went wrong i shouldnt be so stupid why did i go to the restroom in the first place' blaming herself was all she could do.

Undressing herself making sure to lock both doors entering the hot water touching her skin. Sliding down to the tiled floor she let her emotions consume her, even if the water was touching her face anyone could tell she was crying her eyes soon becoming red, her face puffy. She tried to hold back but in the end she ended up with a scar in her upper thigh on top of many others, as if she ran out of space she covered one with another. Not visible to anyone but herself. The blood dripping down her thighs the water flushing it away from her skin, the 'burning' feeling made her let out a breath she had been holding back letting her breath once again. Her coping mechanism wasnt the best but even if others thought it was damage to her body she was able to breath for a moment not feeling pathetic and being able to cry over the physical pain and not just some thoughts rapped around her mind.

She was done letting her feelings out getting out of the shower she noticed she had stayed in there for an hour. "Hey are you good in there" haechan voice ringed through the door. "Yeah im okay" jeongha responded keeping it short afraid her voice would betray her.

"You can come in" jeongha said taking the lock out of his bathroom door. She gathered her stuff leaving the room not forgetting to take the blade with her before he saw anything she was out of his way into her room. She put her clothes in the dirty laundry basket, then hiding the sharp metal piece under the piece of furniture beside her bed.

Laying down she was able to find peace after a couple of attempts, moving her body through the bed finding a comfortable spot. She ended up on her right side looking out the window she fell asleep in the comfort of the moonlight.

                                          :)

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                                          :)

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