We're Not Crazy

Brownie

It'd been an hour and Josiah had five beers and was acting funny. I'd been drinking root beer because I hated beer and Jo said drinking root beer out of a bottle would make me feel included.

"You know, I really should've gotten you used to beer. You're always so soft and stuck up. It would've loosened you up a bit." he said and poked me in the stomach.
"I'm not soft or stuck up." I told him.

"Here's the brownie with ice cream you ordered." The lady from before handed us.

The brownie was mine but Jo ordered it for me because he thought I needed to eat something. I didn't want anything large but she said the brownie was the smallest thing on the menu.
I didn't really plan on eating it.

"Enjoy." she said with a smile and a hand on Jo's shoulder that slid to rub his back before walking off.
She'd been constantly touching him all night.

I know it's strange but...it was starting to upset me.

"What is it?" Jo asked and I snapped back after realizing I'd been watching her walk away.
"Nothing." I replied.
"You hate her, don't you?" Jo asked and a mischievous smile shown on his face.
"What?"
"You hate her. You don't like that she's so nice to me and mean to you. Or the fact that was her fourth time touchin' me for no reason." he assumed.

I didn't answer.

"I mean if I'm right, why don't you do somethin' about it?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well you could hit her."
She came back out and I saw her walk to another table.
"I don't have a reason to hit her." I explained.
"Sure you do. You don't like her. That's reason enough."
I kept quiet.
"I'll give you another reason." he said and got out of his seat.

I watched as he went up to her.

They began talking and she giggled a few times while he smiled as he spoke. She leaned against the counter and looked at him while he kept talking to her. Occasionally, he'd look over to me as they spoke.

They'd been talking for about ten minutes now and I didn't know what to do.

"Excuse me?" Some man came and almost blocked my view of Josiah and the girl.
"I just wanted to say that you're beautiful. Can I get you another drink?" he asked.
I didn't like that he'd come to speak to me but his compliment was nice. "Um, Thank you. But..." I replied.
I looked around him and saw Josiah's brows furrow and his smile fade as he looked at the man speaking to me.
"You should go." I told the man and kept my eyes on Josiah. His eyes had gotten low and I was scared.
"What-.."
"Go, please." I repeated but this time I made eye contact.
The man looked hurt but he left my presence. I wish I could tell him I wasn't trying to be mean, I just didn't want to see him get hurt. He seemed nice.

Jo had turned back to the girl and his smile appeared again. I was relieved that his anger had seized.
I looked back at them and the space between them was starting to close. She bit her lip and stared at Josiah's and all of a sudden my chest started to hurt.
Their lips collided.
She stopped leaning on the counter and had her hands holding his face. They turned slightly and her back faced me while Josiah made direct eye contact with me as if he wasn't exchanging tongue with someone else. My heart felt like it had been crumbled like a piece of paper.

I felt my eyes watering.
I wanted to ball up and cry...
I was also angry.

I picked up the brownie she'd brought me and got up then walked towards them. When I got there they finally let each other go.

"Yes?" she asked and that same expression in her face from before had shown.

Without thinking I slammed the brownie into her face and then punched her in her jaw. She bumped into the counter and I kept hitting her until my hand hurt. Her nose bled and my knuckles and palm stung but I couldn't stop. When my fist was tired, I got up and resorted to my feet. I began kicking her in her sides and her stomach. Gasps and worry filled the room and a few of the people in matching clothes came to pull me off of her.
I hated her.

I finally stopped and looked at Josiah as he stood there smiling at me. His smile enraged me this time and I slapped him across his face then stormed out of the bar.

____________________________________

"Leyla!" he shouted at me.

We'd barged back into the motel room and I walked over to my side of the room.
The entire car ride he'd tried speaking to me and I just ignored him and stared out of the window until we got back to the motel.

"Don't talk to me!" I shouted.
"Why not?"
"Why not?! WHY NOT?! Because you're...you...UGH!" I couldn't even come up with the right words to insult him. I started pacing around the room and he sat on his bed and looked at me.
"You...You...I hate you!" I stated. "You went and you...you kissed someone else in front of me...and...and I didn't like that! AND YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE BECAUSE YOU KNEW I WOULDN'T LIKE IT!" I was so angry I pushed the lamp off of our nightstand and it shattered.

I probably shouldn't have done that.

"You...ASSHOLE! You're a terrible fucking person and I hope you die!" I yelled and went to his clothes and started balling them up and throwing them at him.

I kind of felt bad after I said it.
I didn't want him to die.
I was just so upset.

Tears started to pool into my eyes and leak.
I'd noticed he'd just been watching me the entire time, letting me do everything I was doing.

"Why would you do that to me?" I asked. "Are you mad at me?"

The anger changed to sadness.

"No, I'm not mad at you." he claimed and tried to grab onto my wrist before I pulled it away from him.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I shouted.

Back into anger.

"YOU SAY YOU AREN'T MAD AT ME WHICH JUST PROVES THAT I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!" I shouted.
"I thought..." I sniffed. "I thought you liked me..." I said with blurred vision caused by an abundance of tears.
I took a few steps back and just looked at him while I tried to catch my breath and stop crying.

"Are you done?" he asked.

I didn't answer and just looked at the floor.

"Come here." he demanded.

I didn't want to but my feet carried me to him anyway.

He grabbed onto my hands and then kissed them both and looked up at me.

"Stop cryin', okay? I'm sorry." he said and I sniffed.
"I do like you. I just needed you to stop lettin' people walk all over you and if that was the only way to get you to fight back then I had to do it. I'm sorry, baby." he said and kissed the inside of my wrist. He let my hands go and grabbed onto my waist, softly caressing it.

"I won't do it again." he promised and stood up then held my cheeks in his hand and softly kissed me.

I was going to respond but his hand grabbed onto the bottom of my face and gripped my jaw tightly.
"But if you EVER slap me in my jaw again? I'll break yours off. Do you understand me?" he asked and shook my face a little.

"Yes..." I said as best as I could.