We're Not Crazy

Mama

"Wake up!" I heard and shot up.

The room was dark and empty except for Josi laying right next to me.

"You have to go..." they said.
"G-Go?" I questioned.
"You have to go. You have to leave."
"...This isn't real..." I told myself.
"I'm real. This is real. It's all real. You have to go."
I was confused.
"Wh-...Where? Where do I go?"
"You have to leave. Get up. Leave."

I recognized this voice the more it spoke.

I looked in the corner of the room and there she was.

Standing in the dark.

"You have to go..." she repeated.
I crawled from under the blanket and sat on my knees facing her. "Where do I go?"
"You have to leave." She nodded in agreement with her own words.

I got out of the bed and kept my eyes on her.

"You have to go, my love."
"Go where, mama?" I wondered.
"Come home." she smiled.
I looked down at my fingers as I messed with them.

I shook my head. "They said I can't. You'd hurt me again."

I looked up.
She was gone.

"I wouldn't." I heard and turned to the left.
She stood closely. Looking the same as when I left her that day.
"I'd never hurt you, my sweet girl. Come home."
I just stared at her.

She began backing up to the door.

I followed and she stood to the side.

"Go on. You have to leave."

I looked at Josiah sleeping.

"Josi has to come too." I stated and looked at her.
She frowned.

But...it wasn't a normal frown.

It was as if her mouth melted downwards to form it rather than her muscles doing it on their own.

"No!" she screamed and I flinched.

"You come home. And you come home alone."
"But mama..."
"Listen to mama, baby." Her hands gently held my face. "You have to leave."

I looked back at Josiah. I wanted him to come too. I wanted him to go everywhere that I go and for me to go wherever he goes. But I didn't want to upset her anymore. I wished I could take him with me.
My eyes watered.
I want him to come too. I want her to let him come too.
"But...But Josi..."
"NO!!!" she shouted louder than the last time and hurt my ears.
I cried harder.
"Alone. Alone." she commanded.

I looked at the doorknob.

I reached for it and opened the door.

"Wh-Where do I go?" I asked her through tears and sniffles.
"You come home."
"And you're not gonna hurt me anymore?" I asked as I stared into the night.
"No. Never."
I felt a hand on my back as if I was being pushed. I began walking as I was told.

"Come home to mama." she stated softly.

I stared off into space as my feet just carried me in the direction she pushed. Once I left the door, it felt like I was walking through an abyss. Just darkness. I couldn't see.
"You have to leave." she repeated.
"I have to leave." I thought about Josiah and how I wished he was with me.
"You'll come visit mama. You miss me, don't you?"
I nodded.
"So you have to go."

She continued to push me forward and I accepted and kept walking.
Each step hurt my feet for some reason but I still followed directions.
I wondered how I'd get there.
Would we walk the whole way?

I felt her hand lightly leave me and my feet continued to carry me along.

Something obnoxious.
Something loud.
A bright light.
Yellow?
Loud sound.
A siren?
No...
A honk?

I looked to the left to see a giant truck heading straight for me. It's lights blinding me and I lifted my hand to shield my eyes.

I quickly had the wind knocked out of me and felt my skin attack the abusive asphalt when I was tackled to the ground.
I could see the truck driving past, making the ground shake, as I was held in someone's arms.

He was shaking.

I hugged him back.

He hugged me tighter with one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head as he kissed the side of it repeatedly.

____________________________________

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Josiah shouted at me as I sat on the bed and he paced in front of me. He was still shaking.

"YOU ALMOST DIED!" he stated and looked at me with wet eyes.

"I-...I can feel when you leave my side. You can't ever get far because I feel it. I wake up out of my sleep when I can't feel you. And I looked for you everywhere only to find you walkin' to the fuckin' road like a zombie! In front of an eighteen wheeler! Were you sleepwalking?! You've never done that before!"
I shook my head.
"THEN WHAT WAS IT?!"
"She said I had to go..." I frowned because I'd made him upset when I didn't mean to.
"What?" he asked.
"She told me I had to leave and that I had to go home and she promised that she wouldn't hurt me anymore."
"Who?"
I stayed quiet and looked back at my hands.
"Who did, Leyla?"
"Never mind...it wasn't real..." I sniffed as I could feel my eyes watering.

He came and crouched down in front of me.

His head rested on my leg as he looked up at me.

"Can I tell you somethin' that might make you sad?" he asked.
I nodded and wiped my nose.
"If we're alone, and it's not my voice, it ain't real. I know who you thought it was but it wasn't. She's gone. Forever. You're never gonna see her again. You're not gonna hear her again. Her voice ain't real. Don't listen to it."
I nodded.
"I should start handcuffin' you to the bed because you wander around a lot." he scoffed.
"Is it like a punishment?"
"No, princess. More like a precaution."
"That's a big word for someone uneducated."
"Heard my nurse use it a couple times."
"Oh."
"Can we go back to bed now?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Can you promise that if you hear anything, you won't run off to it? Just hold onto me. Don't go anywhere. Hold onto me and it'll go away after a while, alright?"
I nodded.
"Good. Come on." He got up and turned the light off then came back to me.

He took my hand before bringing us both to lay down.

We got under the blankets and I laid close to him and on his chest. I looked into the far corner again.

She was staring back at me.