The Slytherin Common Room - D.M. ✔️

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yayyy i'll be posting again because school is over !!!

pls vote guys rip

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Pansy Parkinson

I lean against the tree by the Black Lake. The late October winds brush against my bangs, making them flutter, ever so slightly blurring my vision.

The waves of the Black Lake wash up against the sandy shore. The water's too cold to touch, and the highest it reaches is a couple feet away from my shoes. Rushing water clouds my ears, ringing in my head.

I smile when I remember how this is where the group and I hung out years before. Reminiscing on old times always chipped away at my heart. It made me sad to think about how everything we'd built together since we were young had slowly crumbled apart at the hands of our own selfishness and immaturity.

Nobody came to this tree anymore, and certainly not together. We'd all slowly begun to separate. The only person I talked to now was Tracey, and those conversations were always scarce. She'd run off the Terence any chance she could get. I don't blame her. I feel bad for burdening her with my problems.

I became my own, alone. The thought of having a 'better half' makes me nauseous. I couldn't bring myself to trust anybody that much, not anymore.

Instead of talking with others, I talk with myself, which sounds extremely depressing when I think about it. I don't have anybody to turn to, though. I'm all I can offer myself.

I don't think I ever will be the same person I once was.

I don't think I can ever be the same person I once was.

She was gone. Lost in my adolescence, only a glimmer in my memories.

She was wonderful. Confident, quick, and gorgeous.

But all the same, she never truly belonged. I still don't.

She never had somebody to call her own. I still don't.

She was just a sad withering soul in a stunning deception. This is the real me. It has been the real me. The real me is a sorry comparison to the old one.

Sometimes she had Y/N, but she knew that Y/N never really was hers, and she never really was mine. Y/N always had somebody else, Draco, Blaise, or Tracey, even people from other houses.

On the rare occasion, I had Adrian, whenever I held him, it felt like he was slipping away. No amount of 'I'm sorry's' or 'I love you's' would ever fix what we'd lost.

At one point, I really did love him. So very much, but with every argument, difficulty, collision, we grew farther and farther apart. There was nothing either of us could do except wait for it all to pass.

In a good mood, I found that I'd go back to loving Adrian all over again. Wishing he was beside me, kissing my lips. Hoping he'd break through the door and confess his undying love. In a bad mood, I'd learned to curse his name. In those poor moods, the notion of him became a heaven burden to carry on my weak shoulders.

I couldn't decide anymore if I loved him or not. I wanted to, though. I wanted to really, really, badly because then I'd have something to hold on to. If I didn't have the idea of him to grasp, I had no hope to seize when I had nothing left in my heart.

I snap myself out of it, shivering from the cold. I don't really mind the low temperature, though. It's, in its own way, refreshing. The question of Adrian always seemed to penetrate my thoughts.