A world that divides us mha/bnha

❸4.

『You're a mystery yet you're the most certain thing I've ever known.』

Day thirty-two: back

Izuku felt the shift of matter as he woke up. He wasn't being held my the other anymore. He was still crying but no one was crying with him. The room was dim and his father was looking at him fondly from above as he often did. Every thing seemed as it would normally. Yet the room held tension and Izuku could sense more people than he could see. Instead of showing his concern he plasters a weak smile on his face feeling tears still pour out of his eyes.

"Father?" He speaks out, voice croaky with sleep. His faintly hears his father talking to him about a doctor and some decisions that had been made without him. It was always with out him. At least that accounts for one of the other presences.

And he supposed If it was for his own good and involved a doctor he's sure it can't be to bad. I mean he can't get much worse than this right? Besides Izuku can't keep being sick. It's unrealistic. He needs to be able to pick up the slack, cook, clean, look after Eri and the house. The family needs him better.

He feels the cold glare from his left but refuses to look at it instead looking to his father. "Will you hold my hand? I don't want to be alone." He barely whispers out.

What a load of rubbish. His father will do anything Izuku asked, if he truly believed it would be best for him, but instead of something that would help him, Izuku instead asks for his hand to be held. Midoriya was right. His father saw him as a possession.

Honestly at this rate Izuku will be the death of himself. Almost literally if midoriya's telling the truth. If he could manage he'd roll his eyes. Speaking of himself he could swear he saw his reflection just next to him as he closed his eyes lulling his head to the side in forced slumber for the second time that day. How many of him are there? Maybe he's just tired. So he'll sleep. Sleep heals.

It was fine for a moment.

He was in the familiar dark void for a moment.

He was breathing again for a moment.

Then he wasn't.

Midoriya was gone.
His chest wasn't rising.
He could feel it from his sleep state the way things seemed to distort. His lungs burned and begged for the air they weren't able to have.

Even from his weird sedated state the panic still set in. He called out but his words caught in his throat. Where was Midoriya? Scarred hands came up to claw at his neck only able to add to the pain. Is Midoriya okay?

His mind was going fuzzy at the edges. The walls of shadow closing his field of vision. Tears plucked his eyes squeezing through the tight crinkle. He was going to die. He knows he's dying.

It all feels so real.

But he hasn't got any panic anymore. As if the flick of a wrist stoped the whole ordeal. The racing of his mind slows to a stop. The burning pain turns into numbness and his limbs feel weightlessly relaxed.

For the first time ever he feels completely alive. Free from all pain and weight he carried. No chains. No father. No noises. Just... Peace. Quiet, relaxing, peace.

Maybe it's a contradiction to say he felt alive at the moment he felt he died but he's never been good as expressing his own emotions and thoughts. His eyes always portrayed them for him so words always felt unnecessary.

Instead izukus wide, deep, mossy green eyes would show. And he would start rambling on and on, trying desperately to work through the mass amount of information and emotion he holds. His father would always laugh at him before entering his mind and understanding him immediately. It would frustrate Izuku but he was only ever able to please his father. At this point if he killed someone he's father would probably come back with, "I'm so proud following your heart like your father, my precious treasure so sweet a baby's first kill!"

Eri would listen to him. A shocking change that took time getting use to. She's sit wide scarlet eyes sparkling brightly at all the new words and facts.

She would never get angry. Or interrupt Izuku rudely. She would only ask questions. Questions that Izuku happily answered with a bright smile. He felt so happy to explain and help teach Eri new things. He felt so happy just to be with her and he's sure she feels the same as him.

It was always about company with those two. She loved to be with him.  He loved to be with her. Hearing his voice brought her comfort. Izuku's mumbling was like a safety blanket to her.

Now, Izuku hasn't seen her in days. Not since he got sick the evening of their outing. His father had quickly whisked him away, to look after and keep all to himself again. If he really is dead... How will she take the news? Will she cry? Scream? Go silent? Will she eat and wash and still find joy? Or will she shut down without him.

Father should be able to handle her but with him busy at work who will look after and care for her? The two men work and Izuku was the one to do everything in their place.

Not to think too highly of himself but he would say he was the glue to the broken pieces of his family. He was almost in the position of "mother" he cooked, cleaned, looked after Eri. He Bought groceries, washed dishes and clothes.

Izuku Taught Eri new things and exercised with her as they walk. Point out and answer questions. Enjoy himself out side of his fathers iron grip. He made sure everyone ate and drank and took breaks to relax. Especially his troublesome brother.

Tomura would probably go quite if Izuku ever died, lock himself away for a while. Father may have to bribe the boy to eat. Izuku knows the mini fridge in his room has many energy drinks that he thinks he could live on. How long would it be until they drank water and ate together as a family again. Would his brother distract himself with video games? Will he throw himself into the work he does until he himself is sick?

So many problems come from that unknown outcome. What about every one he hasn't said good bye to. Will his mother find out? Will there be a funeral for him. Cant he just have five more minutes to say he loves Eri and tomura! Cant he express his gratitude to father. Give him a big weak hug while his father strokes his hair? He'd love to peacefully slip off head in his fathers lap. Eri holding his hand and tomura patting his hair.

Everyone always loved his bouncy curls. So springy and soft. Silky to the fingers with small tangles to work through.

He'd miss his days of happiness. He'd miss his family.

He'd hate to be alone in the dark again. Isn't there a healing quirk to save him? Didn't his father mention a doctor?! His father had so many wonderful quirks surely one of them can help him. Right? Right?!

Obviously not other wise he wouldn't be floating through the dark of closed eyelids. Suffocating is such a painful death too. But even here with all the evidence and feeling he has he still can feel his body. Feel a strange grip on his mind. Maybe his fathers doing?

Gosh his head really hurts.
Can the universe just make up its mind. What does it want from him. Izukus been nothing but good his whole life. He's respected, loved, cared for, helped, smiled, laughed. So why is he being tossed around?

Either he's dead or he's alive none of this half and half stuff.

Oh. Half and half, that sounds familiar.