Not Meant To Be?

Restless nights

Riley couldn't sleep. She lay on the bed and her mind was in turmoil. "This can't happen, " she thought. "What if he....no.....I don't...I can't......damnit......I won't allow it." Getting off the bed, she paced from one end of her bedroom to the other. When her legs were tired, she got back onto the bed, without even noticing. Her mind went over different scenarios and each one made her head spin more. Finally, morning came and Riley got up to shower. Water rolled down her body as she made up her mind that she wasn't going to allow him to destroy her again.

Twenty minutes later, dressed in a pair of black, skinny jeans and a light blue shirt, she stood in front of the mirror and just looked at herself. The mirror wasn't a friend of hers as she wasn't a vain girl or a girl who needed to look at herself. Riley had always been a tomboy and even now, at the age of twenty five, she barely looked in a mirror.

Now though, she took stock of her tall, slim yet curvy body and thought she looked okay for the day. She wondered if he would recognize her after all this time. She felt that she just looked older, with the same big, ice blue eyes, long, thick, black eyelashes, normal nose, full pink lips and long black hair that reached to her hips when left open, which was very rare. She lived in pony tails. She never wore make up and she couldn't care less about other's opinion of her.

Riley only cared about the two people who cared about her. Ryan, and, Carter. She loved them as family. They were the only family she had. She also cared about those who worked at the resort. Riley had learnt from when she had just turned twenty one that caring brought pain. Loving brought humiliation and shame. It was better, to keep people, at a distance. That way, noone could break you into pieces that could, never be found. Shaking off her depressing thoughts, she refused to go there again, she left her room to go find her family.

They were both in their private lounge. Each had a mug of steaming hot coffee that smelled heavenly. Without asking, Carter went into the kitchen to get a mug for Riley. Their apartment was similar to Riley's one with 2 ensuite bedrooms, a lounge and a fair sized kitchen which included a small dining area. Only the decor in each apartment, was different. Their apartments were a part of the resort but was housed in a seperate building that was in a secluded area to maintain a bit of privacy after a long, hard day of work. Each had a seperate entrance however, the kitchen doors were joined by a little passage so that they were able to visit each other without having to go out and enter from the front door.

Ryan pulled Riley into his arms and hugged her tightly. "Are you okay, my little beetle?" "Yes Ry, I am. You can confirm the booking with Grace." Pulling away from her, he held her shoulders and asked if she was sure while looking at her face to see if she was telling the truth. "Have I ever lied to you Ryan? I am over it. Yes I know he will come. It is his sister's wedding, after all. I will be fine." Carter hugged her from the side as he handed her the mug of coffee. She must have convinced them because they both relaxed. Ryan walked over to his opened laptop that was sitting on the coffee table. In a few minutes, he had replied to and received a reply from Grace. Grace Sinclair. Lucien Sinclair's sister. Lucien Sinclair, the man who broke her.

Grace was younger than Lucien and while they had interacted when they were younger, their relationship had deepened while Riley was in the latter stages of high school. After what had happened between her and Lucien, she hadn't spoken to Grace again. Riley felt guilty about this as Grace had always been a good friend. She felt bad about Lucien's parents. They had also been very good to her, especially during the that time when she lost her....no.....Riley wasn't going back to that time.

Taking a deep breath, she parked herself on the sofa next to Ry and asked him for details of the wedding. She was in charge of the business aspect of the resort. Carter took care of the staff and Ryan was in charge of operations. Decor for functions was done by all three as each had their own strengths. All the while, on the outside, Riley only showed enthusiasm and excitement for a new event. On the inside however, she shut done whatever emotions threatened to come out.

Riley's face and body was numb. Her mind however was spinning faster than the spin cycle of a washing machine. She wasn't ready for this. One month! Only one month to plan the wedding. One month to prepare because she had no doubt that she would see him again. After all, he was Grace's brother. Memories bubbled up and tears threatened but she ruthlessly forced them back. Later! Later, she will allow them back. Later, she would break.