Our Treasurous Love

Chapter 22: Almost

"What are you doing unnie?" she asked as I just sat in front of my computer.

"I am composing a song... It's quite hard but I need some sad or happy or thrilling emotions to start composing... In other words I want to get myself inspired" I told her and punch the back of my right shoulder

"I think even though you are not inspired... Hmm how should I say this, you are a very talented person and I envy you" she said

"You are a talented person too" I told him "I actually started this composition ever since I went for ballet prep and it just started"

"Can I hear some?" she asked

"sure... How about my latest song, I will just finish some beats okay... Wait for five minutes" I told her

"Can I look around?" she asked and I told her to be comfortable.

"I will check your closet... I am curious of what a producer wears" she said

"ohh... Su---waittttttt!!!!!" I shouted as I turned my chair around and was about to ran in front of the closet

"Why?" she asked

"I just wore some simple clothes... Pajamas.. Uhmm.. Oversized shirts"

"It is okay just let me take a peek" she said

I ran to her and slammed my closet "my closet is quite embarrassing you know" I keep on stuttering

"Let me just take a look unnie" she said

I covered my closet with all my might and thankfully our manager came in

"What are you two doing?" he asked

"well ju--"

"anyways, Jaemin follow me" he said and I was relieved to hear that. I waited for them to go away and close the door, that's the time I feel so relaxed

I opened my closet and saw him just standing there "are you okay?" I asked

"Yes" he replied but when I heard my manager's voice coming back, I quickly push him in and quickly close the doors.

It was such a tight space and I felt my heart racing more and more, there was an extreme change in the temperature. I didn't know what happened but he hooked his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. He slipped his hand to the back of my neck and I just felt his lips on mine.

My eyes widened because of the sudden act but what made me question myself is that why did I closed my eyes. He keep kissing me until I opened up for him and that's the most shocking part, I insisted and responded.

"JV-ahh" my manager called but we didn't mind "Where did she go?" he said

Why do I miss this? Why am I insisting? And why am I enjoying this moment

Those questions flashed to my mind and suddenly remembered my roommate, Jaemin

I pushed him and went out like nothing happened.

"You shouldn't be doing this" I told him and wiped my lips

"Why?" he asked

"Sunghoon-ah... I don't want to loose a friend like what I did years ago, loosing someone, because of a man" I told him

"You didn't loose me... I was always there by your side and you stayed in my heart which means we didn't loose each other" he said

I gave him a sly smile "You were never in my side" I told him

"you were not there when a chandelier almost fell into me, you were not there when a gang almost raped me, my life has been so tough ever since that day" I told him

I remembered everything that happened when I just got out of the plane. My life turned upside down, I was forced to not eat and just eat twice a week. When I was heading home a gang was following me to a dark aisle, I almost lost my insanity

"Then why did you insisted on going to a ballet prep if you regretted it after making a decision" he said "Don't have anything to say to me?" he burst out

"I was never alone when you left me... You know why? Because just by thinking of you, looking at the pictures we taken years ago, and taking care of your mother made me live my life. My life got worse when I almost give up on hoping that you will come back, I didn't eat, didn't sleep, and almost took my own life But.... You know? Because of just thinking of your name, your gaze and your smile... I have lived my life and auditioned to be an idol so that I will find you with my hard earned money.. I joined a company because of me wanting to find the girl I have loved the most.... And You... Why blame me for the decisions that you made.... Shouldn't you apologize to me first? Huh? For not giving me a hint to disappear out of the blue? It was hard for me too" he said bursting into tears

"That's why... That's why we can't be in each other's company any more. We just practically hate each other" I told him and wiped the tears that was flowing from my eye

"Just pretend you don't know me and we're not that close okay? I don't want to make a decision which I will regret later on" I told him and pushed him out of the room

I sat in front of the door and hugged my knees, everything was heartbreaking that I couldn't handle anymore. I just stood there and cried.

When the door was pushed maybe about 3 hours later, I stumbled on the floor which made me woke up.

"Yah! Why aren't you answering your phone" the manager nagged but as soon as he saw me, he quickly helped me

"What happened to you?" he said "Why are your eyes like that... What happened" he again asked "This can't do... We will just cover it up with make up but make sure to smile at all costs okay?" he asked and I just nod

I entered the salon and my members saw me devastated. I drag my feet to the chair and get myself straight but it's hard

I should just quit being an idol... I told myself as I look at my reflection in the mirror

" Life must have been hard to you" I said out of the blue