ℝ𝔸ℕ𝔻𝕐 & 𝕁𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕃𝕐ℕ 𝕆ℕ𝔼𝕊ℍ𝕆𝕋𝕊🏳️🌈

I belong to you (Randy)

(this is the second part of "Love at school")

RYAN'S POV
The next morning something woke me up. I was still in his arms and it was one of the best feelings you could have.

I had never woken up with someone in bed and it was just beautiful.

I was in his arms, his arms were holding me protectively to him, his fingers were intertwined with mine and forcing me not to let him go. He didn't want me to let him go and I didn't want to let him go.

I loved him in a way that I had never loved anyone before and he loved him in a way that no one before him had ever loved me.

I felt loved and it was such a strange and beautiful feeling that I couldn't understand how I could contain all those overwhelming emotions all at once.

I had loved him for years before it came to the moment when we kissed and he had loved me. It all happened very quickly, there's no way to deny that. From the moment of the kiss we didn't waste even a second and we spent all the time we could together; while I was studying he corrected the tests or prepared the lessons for the following days or even helped me with the homework. The speed with which we did everything was not relevant in the end, because it was the right speed with which we had to do things.

We knew exactly what we were doing and, at the same time, we knew without a doubt that what we were doing was exactly the right thing to do.

There are things you know even if no one tells you.

I've always done everything to make my parents proud and many times I wondered if by pure chance they could change their mind, maybe understand that their son was always their son, that I had nothing wrong. I have always hoped to be able to see a smile on their faces and a proud expression when looking at me. I had so much hope, hope gone to waste.

I hid my face in the hollow of his neck, involuntarily squeezing him even closer to me, needing to feel him close to me, to feel that he was real and that he would not disappear, that he was not a dream.

"Hey, my baby, hey, it's okay" he turned to me, hugging me softly and leaving lots of little kisses on my face.

"I'm sorry I woke you up" I tried to say with a voice broken by tears.

"Shh, don't worry. Was it a nightmare?"

"No, just thoughts"

"Shh, come here"

Having nightmares was another thing that quickly became a kind of habit. Sleeping was so difficult. I was afraid of falling asleep because I knew I was going to have nightmares and I was right all the time. Sometimes I was even afraid to walk the streets alone because my dad might hurt me or yell at me and I would break down emotionally and physically. At school I was the opposite of who I really was: I was confident, cheeky, but I always kept a certain distance to not allow anyone to enter my private life, I didn't want anyone to know about that side of my life, but this was certainly not a problem because no one was really interested in me and my problems. I was a handsome boy and also intelligent, this is undeniable, but no one saw beyond, no one wondered what could be in a boy who seemed so secure, no one ever thought about the fact that perhaps what they saw was not true and real.

"Why don't they love me?" I asked in a tone of voice so desperate that I have never heard it this way myself, with this level of desperation.

"There are people who fail the value of others"

"Do you think I'm worth it?"

"You are my jewel, the only "thing" that really has value in my life" I looked at him with shining eyes, my eyes and cheeks were still wet, while he stared at a point on the wall.