Play Date with You (JenKai)

19: CAN'T

19: CAN'T

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J E N N I E

Of all the mistakes that I could've done, why does it have to be falling for someone that I know for a fact will only break my heart?

I lost count of how many times I sigh for the day.

"Is there anything wrong Jen? Are you okay?" Of course, Jisoo Unnie would notice.

I hugged my son, Kai-puppy as I looked at Jisoo Unnie with teary eyes. I can't help it anymore, why does it have to feel like this? I never thought that I would end up like this.

It was fun to be with Kim Jongin but now, I feel sad. Not because of being in a relationship with him but with the thought of ending what we had. But what choice do I have?

"Hey.. Jen.." Jisoo Unnie sat beside me and gently pat my hair, "you know you can always tell me about anything right? I'm here to listen."

I adjusted my position to stare at Jisoo Unnie's face. "If you have to choose between your career and Suho, what will you choose?"

I saw how Jisoo Unnie got taken aback by my question. I know that it is not easy to answer because up until now, I am still weighing my decision even though I already have an answer.

I already know what or more precisely, who I would give up.

"Why? Is YG against your relationship with Jongin?" She asked.

I am hesitant to nod because YG is not really against it, infact, he is the one who suggested our fake play pretend relationship but when my Father who is huge business man that could threaten YG and our group got involved, YG is now forcing me to end up my connection with Jongin too.

My manager said that it is better to give him up. My Father doesn't want Jongin for me. Blinks bashed him for being with me..

But if it's only me, I would gladly stay with Kim Jongin.

Sadly, it's not only me who will face the consequences of my action. I need to think of my reputation, my group, my fans and his reputation, group, and fans as well.

When I decided to be an idol, I know that my freedom will be stolen from me. My freedom to choose is one of that and I have clearly accepted that long ago but then.. I can't help but to be frustrated right now.

I can't help but feel bad because it will be me who have to end this with Jongin. My Appa told me that he wanted me to break up with him and not the other way around, and here I thought that he is persuading Jongin already to break up with me?

Jisoo Unnie scooter over to hug me and I silently cry inside her warm embrace.

I have no choice but to cry because I am weak.

I can't fight my father.

I can't sacrifice my group.

I can't leave blinks.

And I can't choose.. love.

I just.. can't.

***

(A/N: super duper ultra short update! I'm so sorry because I am currently working on my research in order for me to graduate(〒﹏〒) and I'm thinking of having a time skip of two years or four years already, what do you guys think?)