Red Eyes

20. The Truth

************

(Kenma's pov)

For 18 years, I've looked up to you.

Cherished every moment we had together...

I fell in love with us.

At the age of 11, I started to notice you acting weirdly. You'd get flustered and nervous around me. You would hide your face when I'd smile at you. You'd constantly want to be around me and always wanted to touch me.

You got annoying.

Yet when we separated for a year because of our grade difference. I cried because I felt so lost without you. I became closed off and didn't want anyone else but you. I felt ignored because you had new friends, a new team, a new class, everything was changing and I was scared so I pushed you away.

Then she found me.

She made that year better, she was able to bring me out of a hole that I didn't know I was in. She shared the same smile, you did. The same one that warms my heart. She told me to contact you again and not let you slip.

At first, she reminded me of you a lot which made me want to get close to her but as we got closer together...I ended up falling for her too.

Then the next school year came and I introduced you to her...and she fell in love with you.

I got irritated. I wanted her attention but I also wanted yours. I was afraid of her stealing you from me or you stealing her from me. I realized then that you looked at us the same way, just as she did. Just as I did.

I felt crazy. I absolutely thought that I was out of my mind for falling not only for another guy but for a girl, who are both my best friends, AT THE SAME TIME.

I couldn't believe that things were getting so messed up in my head. I started thinking I had a weird fetish. Of course I had to google it, like why wouldn't I?

And so I found out I wasn't crazy just...gay...and polyamory.

So since it was seen as normal, I wanted to try it out with you guys but was I gonna tell you?

No.

I was terrified of things going wrong and again I had gotten trapped in my head. I tried to think of ways to come out but I couldn't, I was too scared.

Sooo...the best idea was to make you guys think that it was YOUR idea.

Cheeky right?

BUT NO!

I planned on making you guys fall for each other. Everyday I'd try and push you closer together but everything we did...was so platonic.

It was so difficult. You guys made it so difficult. I talked to both of you guys and it's like the drugs got in your head. You never paid attention. You guys joked about it.

I'd see y/n flirt with Kuroo and Kuroo pay no attention. I felt so bad but then you'd flirt with me and I couldn't pay you any attention. You'd give it all to me and none to her. I wanted it to be equal and fair.

I finally gave in and asked for help. Shoyos help. Then the fucker snitched me out.
——
(At the abandoned building)

"Shoyo!"

"Huh?" He turns around, his eyes trying to focus through the dark tunnel. "Oh, hey man!"

"They ain't through this hallway."

"That's weird? Where the fuck did they go?"

We kept walking through different hallways, looking through different rooms trying to find either of the boys.