I am done with love

My way

Gabriel had softly put some pressure on her shoulders and made her sit on the mattress again. Then he had asked her to get out of her blazer and make herself comfortable.

"Why are you doing all of this? There must be something behind your behaviour. Nobody, especially if he's said to be cold and almost cruel, is that kind and nice just like that. Why don't you just tell me, what it is, you want from me", Nathalie shouted at him, "why can't you just admit, that you want to fuck me?"

He had been on his way to the bathroom, to get some stuff, to tend to her face. But now he turned around and took a few big steps towards her, making her dodge immediately. He ignored her and grasped her wrists to press them into the mattress above the young woman's head.

Still ignoring her shaking and panic in her face, he hovered very closely above her, and rasped into her ear, in a rather snide tone:

"My dearest Nathalie, I don't want to 'fuck' you. I would be lying, if I said, that I wouldn't like to make love to you all night long, tend to your very needs and show you, how much you are worth and how much you mean to me, but I don't want to just 'fuck' you!"

He let go of her hands and sat up to be on his knees, that were still holding her between them. Much softer he said:

"Can I take care of your injuries now, please? I want to make sure, that you are in no more pain than necessary!"

Gabriel could see the woman underneath him swallow hard. She still had her eyes closed. Her chest was going up and down with every breath she took. Deep, laboured breaths. He cupped her unharmed cheek very tenderly again.

"Please?", he asked. "I promise, I won't hurt you if I can avoid it."

As she still showed no reaction, he bent down again, to place his lips carefully on hers. What worked one time, maybe would work a second time too, right? Wrong. He had hoped, she would be so overwhelmed again, that she would just do as he told her.

He had feared, she would just punch him.

Never would he have even dreamed of her kissing him back. Wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back. Not a peck. A real kiss. She literally clang on to him in the split of a second. He could still feel her trembling, when she scooted further onto the mattress, pulling him with her.

Gabriel hesitated, he wasn't sure, what she was up to right now. He parted their lips and looked at her with a loving smile. And then she opened her eyes, those incredibly shining, turquoise and blue shimmering eyes, that could not be real. And for the first time, since he had met her, yesterday, they weren't filled with fear, but were challenging him.

Challenging him to show her at least a little bit of what he had spoken of.

"Why...", Nathalie began, but he stopped her with a short kiss. Then he turned to lay on his side and pulled her with him.

"Because, I promised you, to not take advantage of you. I would like to put some ice on your bruises now, and clean those cuts. And please, if you're doing that out of some stupid..."

"I'm not. I neither want todo something to have a leverage, nor would I try to repay what you did with that. I just....I don't understand it either, it's....I feel....drawn towards you, if you know what I mean!"

Gabriel smiled and nodded. Then pulled her into a sitting position.

"Would you please take off your glasses?", he called from the bathroom a moment later. When he came back to her, holding a wet cloth and a towel, as well as rubbing alcohol and a sterile wound cover, she had already placed them on the nightstand.

"I will try to be careful, but I am afraid, this will hurt a little bit. Just tell me if so, okay?"

Nathalie nodded and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Maybe I should do this my way", she suggested with a sheepish smile.

"What would that be?", he asked her curiously.

"I have a couple of drinks, until I feel numb and then I pour the next one over the wound. Hurts much less and is way more fun!", she chuckled.

"Yeah, I don't think so. Just hold still, it will soon be over. It's just the small cut on your lip, and the one at your eyebrow, that I hadn't noticed earlier", he instructed her. Then the designer started to clean the wound above her left eye very carefully, immediately pausing, when he felt her flinch or heard her wince. He already dreaded to bring the alcohol onto the wound, but she didn't even grimace as he did that. Now Gabriel shook his head in disbelief.

Nathalie noticed and explained:

"I know, that the alcohol burns in an open wound, so I wait for it, while the water only hurts sometimes and sadly just when you think it helps you feel better."

"Oh", came from him. "How's that then?" He placed a soft kiss on top of the band aid, he had in the meantime fixed the wound cover with.

Nathalie giggled.

"I like it. But if we had done this whole procedure my way, we were probably naked by now!", she whispered seductively into his ear and now it was Gabriel who blushed deeply. Then she continued:

"But considering, that I'm going to work for you, it's most likely better that way. Wouldn't you agree?" She sounded sad, as if she regretted, to make this decision and looked to her feet, so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"Three years!", he said barely audible.

"What do you mean?", Nathalie asked carefully. Their eyes met again and it felt like an electric shock.

"It's been three years since the accident, in which my wife got killed. From this moment on, I felt nothing. No joy, no love, no anger, no pain. I just felt numb. I couldn't even be there for my son over those years. And then I heard you sing last night and it changed.....everything", he had come closer, their noses almost touching, tell me, you don't feel that way at all, and I will never start a conversation like this again. But if you..."

Nathalie gulped.

"I am scared", she whispered, her hands searching for his to interlink their fingers the moment she found them.

Gabriel smiled at her.

"There's no need to be. I know this sounds totally crazy, but I've fallen head over heels for you. I...."

"Show me!", she just responded.