31. Disaster

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1991

I place a cigarette between my lips and roll my head back onto the sofa.

"So what are we gonna do?" Asks Share.

I sit forward and take another puff of my cigarette.

"I don't know.. " I say.

"Should we put the band on hold right now or...I don't know guys I'm clueless ok." Roxy says.

Autumn then walks in holding their pregnant stomach.

Let me catch you up on everything, since 1988 our band, Tennant's of Cord,  have released 2 albums. The band was doing absolutely amazing, then Roxy got married, then share and now autumn is pregnant.

We were trying to decide if we should put the band on hold or keep going. Kaizü was currently dating someone, and me and warren were still together. Kaizü and I were the only people who weren't, engaged, married or pregnant.

"Can I be honest, I don't want to take a break from this band. You all mean the world to me and I can't see my life any other way." Autumn says.

"The only problem is, you are pregnant autumn. You are going to have a fucking kid and we can't bring your kid on tour with us. It would be too complicated. The child would be exposed to alcohol, groupies, and wouldn't have a childhood!" I exclaim.

"Exactly! Let's face it, Roxy and share, you guys are gonna want to start a family soon." Kaizü says.

"Don't get mad at us!" Roxy says.

"We aren't mad, we are stating a fact. You guys are married, and will want kids soon, like kaizü said. I want this band to stay together, I really do. You guys mean the world, not only to me, but to Kaizü as well. You guys have been here through it all. I love you, and care about you, but this is what you want right. You want to have kids and start a life."  I say.

They all look at the floor and nod and kaizü and I sit there and stare at them.

"I just feel like you are mad at us." Autumn says.

"Yeah exactly, don't be mad at the fact we are married and are starting our life's and you guys aren't." Share snaps.

Kaizü and I are taken back by shares comment while Roxy and autumn sit in shock.

"Oh, so that's how it is huh?" I scoff.

"Well I mean, I don't think share meant it that way.." Roxy begins.

"Oh come on Roxy, we all know that warren is fucking that ex of his but Y/N here is too fucking foolish to realise." Share says.

I can feel tears begin to form in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

"Seriously, that's what you think?" I ask.

"Y/N we all care about you but I must admit it pretty obvious..." Autumn says practically in a whisper.

"Shut the fuck up dude! Don't talk to Y/N like this." Kaizü shouts at the three of them.

I stand up and put my bag over my shoulder.

"You know what, I think it's best that we just drop the band completey. Let's break up!" I shout.

"Y/N, come on.." autumn begins.

"No, save it. Fuck you all and I will see you later." I say walking out.

Kaizü follows me and we both get into my car.

I wipe my tears and kaizü hugs me slightly.

"Fuck them, we don't need them." Kaizü says.

I sniffle and smile at her.

"Let's just go back to my place and watch a movie?" I ask.

Kaizü nods and I start the car, I begin to drive with the windows down. Things couldnt get worse than this, they really couldn't.

None of the girls and I lived together anymore, I moved out of the apartment after all the girls did and moved in with warren.

I pull up to the house and see an unfamiliar car in the driveway.

"Isn't that warrens ex's car-" kaizü says.

I feel my breath hitch in my throat and the tears begin to form again.

"Yeah it is..." I say.

I stare at the car and then my bedroom window.

"You don't think..."

"Kaizü, let's face it, he's cheating."

"He might not be.."

"Don't play with my kaizü! Her car is outside my house and there have been signs everywhere that he is!" I shout.

Kaizü sits silently and I sigh.

"I'm sorry I shouted I just don't know what to do..." I say.

"You don't need to apologise it's okay, I understand. Let's just go inside and see if he is... We don't know for sure yet." Kaizü says.

I nod and get out the car before quickly making my way to the front door. Kaizü follows close behind as I walk in. There is no one downstairs so I begin to make my way upstairs. As I get closer and closer to my bedroom, I can feel my heart beating faster and faster.

I stop at my bedroom door and so does kaizü. I take one deep breath and open the door.
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