33. Start Again

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2 days later

The past couple have days have been filled with nothing but tears and stress.

Everything is falling out of place. Warren and I aren't together, the band and I despise eachother. I'm losing everything that mattered.

I have pretty much locked myself in my room at Jon's place.

Jon has been really helpful. He checks up on my hourly, just by knocking on my door, asking if I am ok, and then leaving. He knows not to push it, he's giving me space which I'm thankful for.

I had just woke up and decided today I was gonna go try and do something. I have distanced myself for almost 3 days and need to do something.

I went and got a shower and got changed into an outfit before walking downstairs.

I saw Jon sitting next to the TV while eating a bowl of cereal, so I ran into the kitchen and got myself a bowl too. I walked into the living room quietly and sat beside him.

He turns his gaze from the TV, towards me and smiles brightly.

"You're up!" He exclaims.

"Yeah! I figured that I had been staying in that room for more than 2 days and needed to get out." I say with a slight smile.

"I know that right now must be hard for you, but I will always stay by your side. No matter what ok? You mean the world to me and I care about you more than anyone else in this world. You are so special to me and you don't know how amazing you are and you should. You deserve a band who will treat you with respect and won't think lowly of you. You deserve a boyfriend who is loyal and means every word he says. That's what you deserve and I know that someday, you will get these things." He says looking into my eyes.

"Jon.." is all I can say to what he said.

I lean over and hug him which he gladly accepts by hugging me back.

"Why don't we go out today? Just me and you." Jon says.

"That actually sounds really good." I say.

He then smiles at me, god I love that smile.

~

Jon and I walk down the streets and look in all the shop windows. It was about 1:00 so we were looking for somewhere to get lunch.

"Look! There is a new restaurant, wanna go see what it's like?" Jon asks me.

"Sure!" I say.

We begin to make our way inside. We we get in, we were greeted by some waiters who took us to our table.

Jon and I began to look at the menus when I saw a familiar face at the corner of my eye. I look over and see Warren and Kathy holding hands and laughing.

I feel a lump begin to form in my throat and Jon notices. He then takes my hand which makes me turn to face him.

"Y/N, are you ok?" He asks me with concern in his voice.

I only point towards warren and Kathy.

"Do you wanna go? We can go eat somewhere else." Jon says.

"No, I am gonna see him about more often so I have to get used to the fact I will see him around." I say.

"Ok, look at me." He says.

I do as he says and look into his blue jersey eyes I love so much.

"Take deep breaths, and remember, I will never leave your side." He says.

I smile at his words and take deep breaths. He smiles back at me. There is something about his smile that comforts me and makes me feel safe when he smiles.

"So what will you order?" I ask holding eye contact.

"Pizza." He responds with a grin.

"It's always pizza with you isn't it?"

"Hell yeah! It's amazing!"

"I can agree with that, but it's all you practically eat!"

"What can I say? Im Italian after all.."

"But still! Have you ever tried any other food than pizza?"

"That's a dumb question and you know it. Of course I have!"

"Ok, like what?"

"Everything! I do like other foods ya know. Richie came here last week and said the pizza was amazing, so I am gonna get it."

"Ok, maybe I will get it too!"

"Yeah! We can get a large and split it!"

I laugh at Jon's enthusiasm over pizza and shake my head.

I then see someone approaching us, I look up and see Warren standing there.

"H-hey.." I say stuttering a little over my words.

There was something about just looking at him that made me feel worried and nauseas.

"Hey, I wanted to see how you are doing." Warren says looking at me trying to make eye contact.

I thought for a second. How was I? How do I answer that question..

"The past couple of days have been rough, but, right now I am doing great. I am having dinner with someone who cares about me and my feelings." I say.

"I get it, the past couple of days have been rough for me too." Warren says.

"Really?" I ask him.

"Well yeah I love you, I know you might find that hard to believe since I am married now but-"

"Married?!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, to Kathy. After you left we drove to Vegas and got married. I thought you would have saw it in the papers." Warren says.

I only say nothing except stand up and grab my bag. I swing it over my shoulder and walk out the restaurant. I can feel tears threaten to escape my eyes.

Then, just as nothing could get any worse, it began to rain.

Great.

My jacket had no hood so I currently stood in the rain, alone, in the street. Just then I heard footsteps splashing in the rain. I turn around and see Jon running over to me.

"Y/N, are you ok?" Jon asks me.

"Yeah I just wanna go home." I say as tears stream down my face along with the rain.

"Ok, let's go then-"

"No, my home." I say.

"What do you mean?"

"Home Jon, I want to go home!"

"I get that, do you mean your old house with warren?"

I shake my head no.

"With kaizü?"

I shake my head once again.

"I'm confused Y/N, you don't want to go home with me, you don't want to go to your old home, you don't want to go to Kaizüs home, where do you wanna go?"

"I want to go back to 2020."
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