Eva's Journal

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Atlas' view

I watched as Eva rode off on her horse, the night following her as she disappeared into the forest beside the castle. Sighing loudly, I turned to look at my writing desk where unfinished letters were scattered. Each letter covered in my handwriting starting with 'Dear Eva' and an explosion of my feelings for her. Every time I wrote how I loved her, I stopped. How could I love her when she wasn't my soulmate? Anna was my soulmate. She should be the one I want to touch but I crave Eva's. Every brush of her hand past my arm made my skin jump. I wished for something more.

The night we walked and talked about our past I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her my filthy secret. I wanted to tell her how I was a monster.

We are not a monster, Atlas. We are unique. I sighed hearing my wolf talk to me in my head. He would always tell me we weren't a monster but I always felt like one. I never learnt to control it. So, every full moon, I changed into that hideous beast and prowled the forest in my kingdom. Some mornings I would wake up and have dead animals lying in my room. Eventually, I asked my right-hand man, my brother, to chain me every full moon. This way I hid my secret further, in the hopes my kingdom would never find out. Not that it worked.

I moved away from the window and sat at my desk again, trying to finally finish the letter to Eva before I married Anna in 3 days' time. I breathed out and stood from the desk and ran my hands through my already messy hair. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened in the past week with Eva. Her skin was so soft and her laugh made me smile. She seemed to understand everything I said to her and when I was hit by that arrow, she risked everything to save me. The arrow tip was coated in silver and without her help, I would have died.

Instead of sitting in self-pity, I picked myself and followed Eva's faint scent to her room. It was pretty bare, with her things gone. The only things left were a few old books, worn heavily from her constant reading, and her bedding which she neatly folded on the end of the bed. I knew from what Anna said that the two of them were as close as sisters. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for both of them to leave each other. I felt insanely responsible for tearing them apart.

The books on the shelf were tattered and I could hardly make out the words on the spine. I picked one up, reading Eva's notes on the pages and smiling when she made a sassy comment or pointed out the obvious. She was such a smart and brave young woman with amazing fighting skills. Our first conversation in the garden caused me to become completely infatuated with her. She was ready to defend herself against that man. I knew anyone who touched her would do it deservingly. I growled low thinking about other men touching her precious curves. Shaking my head, I put down the book and walked back into the main part of the castle, where even in the middle of the night, servants were running around preparing for the wedding on Sunday.

I walked back up to my room to hide away until the wedding when I ran into someone I didn't overly want to see.

"Atlas, why are you up?" Anna asked laughing slightly, with tears in her eyes. I put my hands on her arms and looked at her concerned.

"What's wrong, Anna? You shouldn't be wandering around the castle so late." She sniffed before the tears came running out. I pulled her into me, her tears becoming heavier in my arms. I rubbed my hands up her back trying to bring her some comfort.

"Eva left. She's gone and she's not coming back." My heart broke when I heard she wasn't coming back.

"She might come back, Anna. You don't know that." She pulled away shaking her head wiping the tears with her sleeve.

"She said she couldn't be here. Something was standing in her way." I sighed knowing what Eva meant. I had to tell Anna something was wrong but I didn't know how.

"Anna... I need to tell you something. I think we should find somewhere more private." She nodded and led me into a large room. Books covered the walls from floor to ceiling and I instantly knew Eva would love this place.

I sighed and shook around on my feet trying to gain more confidence. She sat down and looked at me, smiling. I smiled back somewhat and she laughed.

"I don't know how to say this exactly but I'm not sure we are soulmates." She looked confused for a moment before standing up and turning away from me.

"What are you talking about? Of course, we are soulmates!" I nodded and shrugged.

"Maybe we just need to spend more time together and it will be fine." She turned and smiled taking my hands.

"I know we are rushing things, so if you want to postpone the wedding that's okay, too." I instantly said no, almost yelling it.

"No, we are fine. When we are married, we truly will be soulmates and this can all be forgotten." I took her hand and guided her back to her room. She turned and smiled at me. I turned away quickly as to not lean in for a kiss.

This was the slowest 3 days of my life.