Resurrect Me (Book 1)

5

I walk over to my bed and sit down on the edge.

"Are you okay?" I ask looking up at the ceiling. A small shift in the air is felt behind me and I look around to see Cormac crying softly.

"Can i just stay here for a bit?" He says hiccuping through his crying. For a second I just watch as tears fall from his eyes. Something was definitely wrong but it wasnt any of my business so I just nod my head. I lean back against my headboard beside him as he sniffles cutely.

This goes on for awhile until he slowly calms down. He doesnt leave even when hes stopped crying though and ive opted to just lay down. With an arm over my eyes.

"I'm really sorry, I didnt want the others to know I was crying. I wasn't ready to answer their questions," he says softly. I dont move and I take a minute before answering. I had no clue on what to say without sounding intrusive.

I sigh and move my arm under my head to look at him. He stares down at me with cute rosy cheeks that are stained with tears, "it's okay, I understand."

I seemed to have said the right thing because he visibly relaxes and leans back against the bed frame, "can you maybe not mention this to the others?"

I nod at him. He obviously didnt want them to know and I reapected that. I had secrets of my own. However Gray would no doubt figure it out soon enough. He actually scared me. Knowing someones secret can be ultimate power.

"Thank you Roark," he says my name quietly and almost in a sensual whisper and when I look over at him his lips meet mine briefly. His eyes go wide beforw he jumps out of the bed, "you- cheek- moved."

He runs out the door hurriedly without saying anything else and my slightly wide eyes go back to normal as I sit up. Was he trying to kiss me on the cheek? I brush my fingers over my lips and sigh. Today already seemed to be dragging on forever. I glance at the bathroom door and smile. I can easily make it better.

/*\

I clean up the spilling blood from my neck slowly. I have never cut my own throat before surprisingly but something in the way Kieran had me pinned up earlier made me want to try it out. It hurt a lot but I like the pain. I couldnt talk though and my laughter caused blood to gurgle out my mouth. Other than that it was a fantastic death.

I change out of my soaked hoodie and sigh. I needed to start stripping before killing myself. I was ruining all my clothes. I rinse the rest of the blood away and leave the bathroom to find a new shirt. I pull a random one out before a loud knock resounds through the room, "come in."

The door opens slowly and a sheepish looking Kieran walks in awkwardly. I look at him quizzically and he stops a few feet into the room, "Um I just wanted to male sure you're okay."

I nod quickly. The man hadn't done anything I was practically already begging him to. I was a little shaken up about it as putting the control in his hands meant i was again at someone else's mercy. I couldnt deny that I wanted it mpre than anything in the moment though. I wanted him to hurt me.

"Theon just, uh hes yelling at me a lot right now and I felt a little bad. Hes saying I shouldnt of forced you and stuff. I didnt want you to think I was trying to fprce you to do anything," he says in practically one breath. I give him another confused stare.

"Why are you talking as if hes talking to you right now?" I ask curiously. I usually didnt ask questions but I cant help myself.

He looks at me with a tilt of his head before his eyes widen and he raises his hand flicking his wrist. Almost instantly his body splits in two and suddenly there are two Kierans standing in front of me. I look between them with an awed expression.

"Oh," I respond and the original Kieran nods. The other however walks up to me though. He looks me up and down before lifting my chin and frowning.

"Theres really no marks," at his words I jerk away and step back. I clutch the shirt in my hands and fumble to put it on. I cant believe I had forgotten to put it on.

"You-you didnt cut me, its okay, you dont have to worry about it anymore,"the second Kieran tilts his head at me before disappearing slowly. I look over at the door to see the original also giving me weird expression.

"I did, I tasted your blood," I shiver as I see a dark hunger pass over his features before he looks at the door with wide eyes," I gotta go, theon foumd out that I left a second in my place."

With that he bolts put the door and I let out a breath of relief. I couldnt give up my control. It was mine. My pain. I could do what I want with it. I look at the time and see it already time for dinner. I had skipped lunch and I knew I was going to skip dinner as well. I couldnt be around people right now.

I always had a bad habit of worrying about things I couldnt control. That I couldnt understand and these guys were prime examples. I didnt know what they were thinking or why they did the things they do. I wanted to run far away. However another part of me wanted to be pinned up against the wall again. I wanted someone else to hurt me and that scared me. I took back control of my life not even a year ago and my mind was already willing to let go again.

I sit on my bed and my head falls into my hands. I desperately needed to leave. I couldnt let myself go through that again. You cant trust anyone in this world.

With that last thought I strip to my boxers and dive under the covers. Tonight will be my last night in a decent bed. Might as well use it while I can.