Resurrect Me (Book 1)

6

Soft gentle taps are felt on my arm and I pull my arm away. I turn away from the annoying feeling and attempt to lull myself back to sleep until I hear speaking.

"Pinch him,"I notice that as Grays mischievous voice and let out a small huff as I try to ignore them.

"That's mean!" Cormac whisper screams and theres a moment of silence until a sharp pain is felt on my left upper arm. I softly moan without meaning to before letting out a deep grumble. How annoying.

I crack open an eye to meet face to face with Gray, "what?"

My voice comes out slightly dark and he shivers before smirking at me then at Cormac, "told you."

I glance at Cormac to see him slightly glaring at Gray, "it doesnt change the fact that it was mean."

Gray rolls his eyes before looking at me again, "time for breakfast! You should come down soon, mom and dad are getting worried!"

He chuckles to himself as he practically skids outof the room. I look over at Cormac curiously, "Theon and Heath. They are huge worrywarts and you only ate breakfast yesterday. Actually you hardly ate anything then as well. Um you should really come and eat something."

He voice slowly gets more high pitched as he rants and just like last time he runs out of the room hurriedly. I sigh loudly and simply shut my eyes again. I did not want to go anywhere right now. I was fine right where I was.

10 minutes go by where I can almost feel myself falling back to sleep before I hear a soft knock and a squeak of the door. I open my eyes slowly and look to see nobody there. I groan quietly and roll onto my stomach. In less than five seconds I feel another soft tap. This time in between my shoulder blades.

"What?" My voice is slightly muffled by the pillow I was currently suffocating myself with.

"Please come and eat,"Heaths beautiful voice enters my ears and I shale my head no, "are you okay?"

I shake my head again without realizing it and just completely slump against the bed. I wasnt okay. I am exhausted. I want to die. So badly do I want to just die. Suddenly his hand is on my back and very gently he rubs small circles across my spine. Ahivers run up it and my eyes widen when I realize it feels good. It didnt hurt but I liked it. I glance back at him to see he was actually showing himself to me.

His gorgeous white hair was pulled up into a messy bun with tendrils framing hia face. He was smiling at me with an almost shy gaze as I stared at him. He retreats his hand with an apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry," he says in a quiet voice and I force myself to turn around and sit up.

"Its-its fine," I respond looking down at my hands that lay limp in my lap. Its quiet for a few minutes before he shuffles slightly.

"Please at least come down for a quick snack, I'll make you anything youd like," he says in a timid voice and I groan as I can feel myself giving in.

"I'll come, okay? I'll come," I get out of bed and look at Heath again to see him giving me a scary look. Dark hunger crossed his features in a flash before he nods at me and instantly fades away. I see the door open and close. I breath out deeply and shiver as I remember hesoft touch. These men terrified me.

I get dressed quickly in black sweat pants and a white hoodie. I pull on socks before exiting the room and heading downstairs. When I get into the kitchen I see everyone talking amongst themselves. I seat myself quietly but they all notice me.

"How are you doing Roark?" I look at Theon witha blank expression. In my mind I unconsciously scream the answers.

'How am idoing? I want to die! I'm not worht living. I'm exhausted and I dont get an escape! I'm trapped here and you guys are beginning to scare me. I dont like the feelings you guys make me feel. I dont want to feel anymore.'

I close my eyes tightly and look down at the table trying to rid myself of all thoughts. I dont even look at Gray as I look back up at Theon, "I'm doing fine."

"Lies," I hear Gray grumble but I still dont look at him. He didnt truly know everything. He didn't understand.

"Okay go ahead and start eating," I glance around at everyones plate to see they hadwaited for me. Guilt eats at me for a second but I push it away and let out a breath. Its always so hard to breath. I wanted die.

Breakfast went by slowly and quietly after I arrived. I hated it. More than anything I despised being a bother. Icould hardly stomach any food even though it was delicious. I needed to get away.

As soon as the first person stood up. I also abruptly stood up and took my dishes to the sink where Kieran currently stood. I turn around only to be stopped by a tight hand on my arm. I look back at Kieran with a somewhat desperate face. His face goes maniacal for just a second before his head twitches violently and he pries one finger at a time off of me.

I pull it to my chest quickly and back up only to bump into someone. I turn quickly to see a broad chest. I look up to see Theon giving me a scary look. One filled with curiosity. No smile anywhere to be found, "why don't you come watch a movie with us. It'll help you not feel so isolated."

I avoid his eyes in fear that I'll instantly calm down and say yes. Then as if hit with lightening a thought occured to me. Dont I want that? Isnt that why I killed myself again and again? To rest my inner turmoil? Why didnt I want to look into his eyes?

Slowly I raise my head to meet his dark brown eyes. However nothing happens. I dont feel any different as I stare into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I search them thoroughly but nothing changes. I'm still restless. I cant seem to look away though. His gaze holds me and continues to look at me analytically.

Suddenly his lips turn up slowly into a smirk. A genuine smile. His eyes crinkle slightly in amusement. My breath catches in my throat at how absolutely handsome he looked.

"Will you?" He asks still smiling softly. I gap my mouth open for a second when I realize I didnt feel panicky anymore. Did he do something to me?

"I-i will,"I respond shakily and his smile grows before he turns away from me finally breaking eye contact. However the panicky feeling still didnt return. I felt normal.

Gray comes up beside me with his own mischievous smirk. I narrow my brows at him. What'd he looks so smug for?

"He's handsome when he smiles, huh?" Gray says teasingly but he obviously meant what he said by the genuine look on his face. I let my face blank out and clear myself of all thoughts. Gray tilts his head at me slightly before grinning brightly, "you've perfected that. I really cant hear anything."

His face holds almost relief as he turns away from me and leaves the kitchen. I stare after him in confusion before jumping slightly when a hand is placed on my shoulder. I turn back to see Kieran giving me a surprisingly soft look, "these guys have been through just as much as you have. The ine thing everyone in this house has in common? Is a hard life. We're all abnormal and we were all treated as such. They hate themselves and what they can do. There's no reason to be wary of them."

As Kieran stops speaking I look at him in almost wonder. It was true that I hadnt thought of that. I had assumed Gray enjoyed reading peoples minds but I bet he'd think the same about me. No one wants to die until you can't. Did Kieran hate his abnormality? Heath? Cormac?

Kieran raises his hand and suddenly a second Kieran begins doing rhe dishes. He pushes me towards the door and I stumble a bit, "I'm fucked up Roark. My mom used to make me hurt myself. Through my clones. She would tell me I deserved it and that she didnt want to dirty her hands doing it herself. The pain transfers to all my clones. So if one gets hurt we all do. I think we may be pretty similar. I grew accustomed to pain. Sometimes I crave it but mpre than anything I grew addicted to causing pain. I enjoyed watching my blood spill. I enjoy watching all blood spill. I realized through livinf here that I wasn't some monster born into this world like my mother made me to believe. I was created from a lifetime of hell. I deserve to be the cause of someone elses pain for once," he then looks at me where I was practically gapping at him in surprise, "so do you."

With that being said his eyes twitch and his maniacal grin returns before he completely pushes me into the living room and im forced to interact with the people who made my emotions wild.