Resurrect Me (Book 1)

13

"Wait really? All of you?" I ask with wide eyes. Were they really all dating? Or was it just sexual? And why had this Xavier guy assumed that I was apart of it?

"Yes we are, no its not just sexual, amd probably because hes a fucking asshole who doesn't believe in polygamy," Grey answers and I turn slightly red when I realize he heard my thoughts, "Xavier used to live here as well, the last one before you. He fell in love with Cormac and when he found out we were all already together he flipped his crazy switch. Tried to hurt Kieran of all people. Funnily enough he was the one who suffered. Theon had to kick him out after that. I mean were all pretty fucked up but we dont condone non consensual pain."

Did that mean they were involved in consensual pain? The memory of Grey's scream from that other room crosses my mind. I watch as Grey blushes deeply in front of me.

"Oh god, okay what your thinking is correct but also wrong!" He says waving his hands frantically. What did that mean?

"What are you talking about?" Kieran asks with furrowed brows and Grey huffs.

"I- its not really any of my business to say as its mainly Kierans thing, so you can ask him," Grey answers quickly shaking his head. Kieran gives him a curious look.

I frown slightly. I surprisingly didnt find any of this strange. Not Xavier. Not their relationship. Or the consensual pain. It actually felt like all these pieces In my head finally fit together. It makes sense. I look over at Theon with wide eyes.

"You too?" I ask in a shocked voice, "you know what ive been meaning to ask but are you abnormal as well?"

Theon smiles at me softly and nods, "yes to both of your questions."

"But how?" I ask curiously. I didn't think they'd ever give an abnormal any amount of power.

"I'm assuming youve asked that because you understand what I can do?" He asks and I shrug slightly. I knew he could make me feel emotions i normally wouldnt if I looked into his eyes, "I can manipulate emotions and I did as such to get to this position so this could be a safe place for others like me."

I can't help but freeze up at his words. A safe place? There would never truly be a safe place for an abnormal. Not in this fucked up world. A coffin is the safest place I could ever be.

A loud gasp is heard and i look to see Grey looking at me with with horrified eyes and I sigh. I roll my eyes and lean back crossing my legs. I so desperately didnt want these guys to know. I so badly wanted to keep my pain mine. That wasnt really an option now.

"You're suicidal?" Grey whispers out in a soft voice. I look at him and sigh heavily.

"Can you even truly be suicidal if you can't die?" I ask looking at my hands. I pull up my hoodie sleeve. Before I use my nails and scratch my arm so hard that blood draws. The scratch run up my inner forearm and I hear a gasp. I dont even look up as a sadistic grin covers my face as i watch thr cuts disappear, "how am I supposed to even know the pain I feel is real pain?"

I put my arm up showing the lines of blood. That look as if they were paint on with no actual cuts. I sigh heavily and pull my sleeve down angrily. Because i was a freak I could never be happy.

"Kieran cuts you?" I look at Grey as I ask with a sullen expression. He blushes slightly with a slightly shocked expression. He glances at Kieran whos staring at my covered arm intensely, "forget i asked, I already know. How much does it hurt?"

"How am I supposed to express that in words?" Gray asks with a red face. I look down with a sigh and shrug.

"I suppose your right, you have no way of feeling my pain," I respond quietly before standing abruptly. I look down at Cormac with a blank rxpression.

"You shouldn't do things that would put yourself in danger, not when you have people who care," I immediately shove my hands in my pockets and walk out of the room.

No one has the time to comprehend I'm leaving as I speed up the stairs. I needed some time alone. Some time to breath without the fear of my brain being dissected. Grey is absolutely terrifying. I shut the door to my room with a huff and close my eyes exhausted. Ive never intentionally died for someone else and honestly it felt good. I'm actually happy that Cormac is alive. He didnt deserve death, at least not anytime soon.

I groan as I walk into the bathroom and strip off my clothes. I was becoming way to attached to these guys and not to mention they're all romantically involved. Which explained a lot. All their strange affection and actions. It actually fit all of them.

I jump in the shower my head running a million miles an hour. Now that they knew my abnormality would they take advantage of it? A part of me knew they wouldn't. Especially after Kieran had apologized so sincerely after accidently cutting me. Another part though, a darker part was still terrified. That I'd once again be locked up and used as a punching bag.

I shake all my horrible thoughts away as I get out of the shower with a sigh. I wrap a towel around my waist and head out to my still packed suitcase. I run my hands through my hair in exasperation though when I see I only have a couple pairs of basketball shorts and one dress shirt. I roll my eyes as I look over at my pile of dirty clothes. Just my luck.

I put on a pair of the basketball shorts on and flop back on my bed with a tired expression. I honestly have no clue what I was going to do. Did I run? Do I leave this place thats supposedly meant to be a safe place for people just like me? Kieran and Gray have been through hell because of their abnormalities and seem to really enjoy this place. Did that mean I could too?

The problem laid in trying. Should I risk being hurt again? Should i risk betrayal and pain? What was the correct answer in this situation?

It scared me to know end not knowing the outcome if I decided to stay but I wanted to try. I wanted to feel safe. Especially knowing I never will by death. Could this place actually become my sanctuary?

My thoughts run rampart in my head until I hear a firm knock on the door. I jump startled from my sprawled out position on the bed. I look at the door in anxiousness. This was absolutely a reoccurring thing in this house. I stand up slowly and walk to the door with furrowed brows. What one of these men knocked and didnt just waltz in? My confusion is quickly replaced by shock as I stare at who had knocked. Definitely not who I expected.