Resurrect Me (Book 1)

11

I was currently a complete wreck. Emotions I've never felt before raced through me at a remarkable pace. I wouldn't dare go back in that room with all of them in there not while I was like this. Instead I rush out of the gym and back downstairs. I needed to be alone. Desperately.

My mind is chaos and I can't think straight. I head straight for my room practically falling as I push open the door and slam it close. I breath heavily from the run. My first response is to run to the bathroom.

I grab my knife but don't use it. I felt something right now. Something that wasn't pain. I wasn't used to that but was it necessarily a bad thing? It was scary though. Unknown.

I sigh and plunge the knife into heart. It was the easiest way to die. The pain sears through me causing all the confusing emotions to abruptly stop and be replaced by excruciating momentary pain. A bubbly laugh escapes me and I grin. That'll never get old.

I gasp for air and place a hand over my heart. I try to relax as the wound closes. I groan when I realize I'm still wearing my clothes. I strip off my clothes and just jump straight into the shower. I felt a bit better after that but my mind still was in shambles.

I get out of the shower with a sigh. I wrap a towel around my waist and go into my room to get some clothes. I go to my bag of clothes and begin pulling out a hoodie and sweats. I go to drop the towel but hear a loud cough.

I jump and grip the towel turning around quickly. I don't see anyone and look around frantically. Until I shake my head. I must be losing my mind. I sigh and rub my eyes.

"Roark?" I trip over my bag and fall on my knees hard in my attempt to scramble away from the voice right behind me. I stand up quickly and turn to face an empty room. My eyes stay wide as realization kicks in.

"H-heath?" I ask with a slight stutter. The air shifts and Heath appears in front of me, "why didn't you say anything?"

He looks at me slightly guilty, "I knocled but you didn't answer so I just came in. However you were just walking out and I felt embarrassed. I was going to just leave but got startled when I saw you about to get dressed."

I stare at him as his aoft wgite hair comes into his face and sigh, "it's okay, I understand. You just startled me."

Heath doeant look up at me and shifts uncomfortably at my gaze, "Gray wanted me to check on you."

My eyes widen slightly as I remember the kiss, "he told me a lot."

Heath finally looks up at me with surprised eyes, "about his past?"

I nod in answer, "as well as Kieran but I'm not sure why when ive not offered any information on myself."

Heath eyes slowly soften and he smiles softly, "I know why."

I tilt my head at him in confusion but he just shakes his head and slowly disappears from my sight.

"Talk to you later Roark," he says before I watch the bedroom door open and close.

I stare at the door a little lost. I had no clue what was going on. It seemed like my life has become a whirlwind. I get dressed quickly and fall back onto the bed firefly. Why couldn't I just sleep and never wake up. When would there ever be an end to me.

Growing up I remember hating my life. I hated my abnormality. But more than anything I hated myself. I was taught that I was a disgrace to my family. My father even attempted everything he could thunk of to try and kill me himself. Of course that never worked because I was different.

So many different deaths. I'm not sure if there's anything new to try. Which only made me sad. I was stuck. Stuck in a life I can't escape. How awfully ridiculous. My life is a joke.

I clutch my chest as i think about the kiss. About all the men in this house. Strangely enough they made me feel things. Not necessarily bad things but it scared me none the less. I was so used to only feeling pain. However when Kieran had cut my throat I hadnt just felt pain. There was pleasure as well. The same with Gray. I enjoyed the brief kiss.

I groan out in frustration. I didn't know how to deal with these new emotions. They terrified me.

I sit up startled when I hear a soft knock on the door. I look to see Cormac slowly opening it, "um it's dinnertime, you should come eat."

My eyes widen in surprise for just a second. Had it really already been that long? I let out a breath and nod standing up, "ok, I'm coming."

He smiles at me shyly and walks away. After a minute I trail downstairs in exhaustion. I wasn't even really hungry. I never truly got hungry though. I didn't die even when starved. I just got disgustingly thin and flimsy.

I walk into the kitchen to see everyones already here. Everyone sat in their normal seats and I sit beside Kieran awkwardly. He glances at me with a crazed look before turning back to Theon. I watch as a second Kieran brings in a plate of food before disappearing. Heaths chair scoots out and back in and I figure that he was now seated as well.

"Alright everyone go ahead and dig in," Theon says smiling that creepy smile again. I look away freaked out and eat slowly. It was delicious as always but I don't comment on it. I just continue to eat.

Everyone chats slightly and my chest begins to hurt. I begin to feel anxious and narrow my eyes. I got the feeling that something bad was going to happen. I ignore it though and just continue to eat with a frown on my face.

However my anxiousness just gets worse and I look around rolling out my stiff shoulders. Theon notices, "are you okay?"

I go to respond but instead am interrupted by multiple different things. One being the loud shrill of a cell phone. Which Cormac scurries to grab from his pocket. The second is the annoying tone of the doorbell that has Theon standing with a frown.

However it was the third and last sound that caught everyones undivided attention. A loud pop of a gunshot rings throughout the room causing Gray to gasp and Cormac to scream. Thats when everything went to hell.