Resurrect Me (Book 1)

9

I go into my room hurriedly. My head couldnt wrap around what he had said. What any of them had said today. Why had Cormac thanked me? Why did Kieran say somerhing about Theons rules? What about Gray talking someone killing someone else. However the main thing that stumped me was Heath saying he liked me.

I don't think anyone's ever liked me. Ive never had friends. My parents despised me. I was a monster to everyone. Was it because he was also abnormal? Because he understood? How much has he gone through because of something he cant control? What was the real reason Heath didnt like to be seen? He obviously had an abnormality that effected him physically. Was that why?

I groan slightly as my head begins to ache. Ive never been a fan of the pain of a headache. It was honestly just a nuisance. I start walking to the bed with my thoughts still reeling when I remember Heath saying I should go downstairs.

I didnt exactly have the desire too. I was hardly known as a social person by anyone's standards. In fact contact with other people used to be a luxury. Now I dreaded it. Did I really want to go down there? I let out a small groan.

I look at the door and nod. If I was to ever leave learning the ins and outs of this building is exactly what I needed to do. I walk over to the bathroom stripping off my shirt quickly. I also tale of my pants just in case. I stare in the mirror.

My face holds nothing but exhaustion. Heavy bags drag down my currently dull green eyes. My hairs a complete disaster. Knotting up to the roots. My skin was unusually pale from staying inside lately. I look away and quickly grab the knife I hadnt even bothered to hide last time.

I watch as I flip it around in my hands before I go to shove it in my heart. However I stop and bring it to my wrist. Ive never mundanely hurt myself with just cutting. Usually in my mind with actually trying to kill myself at least there was a possibility that I could actually die. Cutting my wrists seem so stupid but despite those thoughts I begin making cut after cut. Filling my arm all the way until I have no more room. Crazy laughs escape me as I do so. Even going as far to create images.

However all to soon its over. Even more quickly than normal. The cuts disappear only leaving blood in its place. It definitely wasnt worth dping again. I decide to just jump in the shower.

The blood runs off me leaving no evidence that I had done anything. I wash off quickly. Washing my hair and body slowly as i think about going downstairs.

When I finish I continue to trail slowly as I get dressed in black basketball shorts and another white tshirt. I also shove on some calf length white socks. I would need to do laundry soon. I didn't have that many clothes. When I'm done I stand infront of the door letting out a deep breath. I would be fine.

I leave the room quietly and quickly make my way downstairs. I enter the living room first just to see it empty. I open my mouth to see if Heath was there but decide that if he wanted to speak to me he would. I turn out of the room and walk to the kitchen. Ince again I dont see anyone. I frown slightly.

Where was everyone? I go back into the grand entrance area and look down the one hallway on the main floor I haven't been down. Theon's office being the only room down there. I let out a shaky breath before nodding reassuringly to myself. I begin my way down the hall slowly. When I finally reach the door I hold my hand out for several minutes.

Did I want to do this? No, I didn't. I knew I had to though. This man probably knew the most about me. He was the administrator after all. Getting on his good side could definitely aid me later.

I knock swiftly before I can chicken out and after just a second I can hear a gruff, "come in."

I prepare myself before opening the door and stepping in softly. The first thing I see is Theon hunched over a desk in the middle of the room. He doesnt look at me. He stares at a piece of paper on his desk with a stressed out expression. His pitch black hair was for once not styled and looked like he had run his hands through it a lot. An annoyed huff leaves his mouth.

He still doesnt look up even when he begins speaking, "I'm not fucking helping you Gray. Its your own fault."

"Um," his head snaps up so fast that I think I hear his neck crack. His eyes are wide as he looks at me. And in the cutest way Theon can he attempt to fix his hair and clean up his messy desk.

"Roark? I'm sorry, I thought you were Gray, are you alright?" He asked hurriedly. A small smile escapes me as I see him try to fix himself. So Theon wasnt as robotic as I had first assumed. In less than 5 seconds he looks exactly as he had when I first met him. How easy it was to look so put together after looking wrecked.

"Ive caught you," I say quietly and that annoying smile drops immediately. A tired sigh leaves him and a hand come up to run through his hair.

"Yes, yes I suppose my covers been blown," he gives me a slightly pained smile, "and I was trying so hard."

My face softens as I stare at him. I normally held a relatively blank face. I usually couldnt feel emotions unless I was in pain but in that moment I cant help a smile from crossing my lips. A soft gasp leaves his lips and I look away from his awed eyes.

"Being human is a much better look on you," I say looking down at my feet. I look up slightly as I hear Theon get up. He moves around the table and reaches me in just five steps.

"I could say the same about you," that breathtaking smile takes my breath away and look him in those captivating brown eyes. I don't feel any change in emotion and sigh in relief.

"Yes I suppose you're right," I say and look down again. However rough fingers gently pry my face up and once again I'm staring into those warm brown eyes.

A mischievous smile takes over his features and he shakes his head at me, "yeah I think I understand what Kieran said now. Irresistible."

My mouth gaps open at his words. There's no way he was talking about me. He gives me a big grin that makes him look extremely boyish before releasing my chin and backing up slightly.

"You sure cheered me up so tell me what reason has graced me with your time?" He says as he begins to walk to his desk a smile still on his face. For a second I cant speak. What had he meant by that?

"Um I just- I guess I just wanted to talk to someone," I respond softly. I honestly had no idea if my answer was the truth. A knowing look passes over Theon's features and he smiles down at his paper.

"It makes me happy that I was on your lost of people to talk to, but the others are probably somewhere on the third floor. If your looking for anyone in particular," he says giving me that incredible handsome smile from this morning, "also you missed lunch so make sure you come down for dinner. Don't want Heath worrying to much."

A shiver goes through him before he shales his head composing himself. I nod at him slowly, "Um could we maybe talk again some time?"

A surprised look passes over his face before that brilliant smile replaces it and he nods, "anytime, your presence is always welcome."

I smile at him slightly shyly before turning to the door, "see you at dinner."

I leave the office quickly feeling a lot like Cormac who had a habit of shyly running out of the room. I didn't know what it was about Theon but he was definitely the most mysterious person in this house. He brought out a strong submissive side of me. Which slightly scared me.

I run my hands through my still damp hair and make my way upstairs. The words Theon said running through my head. I was definitely going crazy. Definitely.