Resurrect Me (Book 1)

7

I focus on the living room when I hear an annoyed huff. I look to see Kieran has practically plopped himself down beside Gray with his feet on his lap and his back against the arm rest. Theon sat next to Gray with one arm resting behind Gray. One the second couch sat Cormac in the middle and he was leaning on nothing. So I'm guessing Heath was there as well.

I attempt to quietly make my way over to the lone armchair but am quickly called out by Cormac. I look at him to see him smiling at me shyly and patting the seat beside him. I sigh softly and make my way over to him. I sit on the left side the was closest to the second couch. Which meant I was also pretty close to Theon.

"What are we watching tonight?" Cormac asks in a soft voice.

Gray speaks up immediately, "lets watch something scary!"

No one disagrees and Theon begins flipping through movies before settling on a random one about a murderous fun house. Beside me I feel a vibration and look over to see Cormacs eyes wide in fear before he masks it and grips onto Heath. Which meant it looked like he was gripping onto the air. Why did he look so scared for a second?

I'm pulled away from that thought when there's a loud scream from the TV. I look to see that the main woman had a bad dream. How cliche. I dont really focus on the movie. I cant help but think back to what Kieran told me. I glance at Gray hurriedly but sigh in relief when I see hes focused solely on the movie.

It was still early. Only about 10:30 now and these guys were watching a scary movie. It seemed very odd but I didnt question it. It wasnt my place to question anything. I was already tired and I wanted to die. I wonder if I could sneak away? I void that thought though when Theon glances at me with that same extremely handsome smile.

I glance away with a blush. What were these men doing to me. I feel a hand slither into my own and look to see Cormac intently watching the screen. I glance at his smaller hand and instinctively squeeze. He looked adorable in basketball shorts that went just past his knees and a pale tye dye hoodie that went mid thigh.

I look away as I realize what I'm thinking and once again look at Gray in fear. The man made it so I couldn't even think. However once again he paid me no mind and was focused on the movie. I let out a sigh of relief.

The movie seemed to drag on and I hardly watched it. It was like every other scary movie with no originality. So I wasn't the interested. Somewhere during the middle of it though Cormac has taken Kierans idea and shyly put his legs on my lap with his back against Heath. Which was a funny sight as he was still very much invisible.

As soon as the movies end credits begin rolling across the screen I glance over to see Theon running his hands through Grays short ombre hair. It seemed extremely intimate. I continue to stare until Gray looks over at me. A blush coats his cheeks lightly and my eyes widen. So there was something going on between them. He looks away hurriedly and coughs.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" I break away from my intense staring at Gray to see Cormac looking up at me through his thick lashes. I shrug slightly before nodding. I hadnt really watched it but I didnt want to see disappointment lining his features.

I softly tap his legs and he wordlessly moves them off of me. I stand up and look around at everyone staring at me, "Um I'm gonna go unpack."

It was just an excuse. I had no intention of unpacking. However I dont think to much about that as I glance at Gray to see him raising a brow a me. I nod my head at them all before practically bolting upstairs and to my room.

I close the door and immediately head for the bathroom while stripping my shirt off. I grab the knife from where ive been hiding it and driving into my stomach repeatedly. Breathless laughter escapes me as the pain almost causes my knees to buckle. However I lean against the sink and grin at the aight of my blood pouring from my multiple wounds. I let the relief flood me fpr a few minutes with my eyes closed before I look back down at my stomach again. Other then the leftover blood there was no sign that I had been injured. I clean off the knife with yet another sigh before wiping away the blood from my stomach.

I go back into my room and strip my pants as blood soaked the waist band as well as my underwear. I change into dark gray sweatpants and dig deeper to find a black t-shirt. I get dressed quickly and fall back onto my bed. My emotions were all over the place and I honestly didnt know how i felt about it.

I was used to feeling numb. To feeling like a robot when I'm not feeling pain. Pain is usually the only the that can make me feel emotion. Now these men do too? It was confusing amd scary at the same time. Yet intriguing as well. I really needed to get out of this house.

My solution to problems has always been to run. I ran away from home at 15. I then ran away from the asylum at 19. Everywhere I go I feel trapped. Like i dont belong. Worthless. If I could die I would because I surely wasnt needed alive. It's ridiculous though of course I, a person who wants to die, gets stuck with the abnormality to always live.

For me even though i run and run away from my problems in reality I'm running down an endless road. Will there ever be an end for me? Will old age even kill me? I will always be running because there's no escape.

I roll over onto my stomach and sigh. I think to much. My head starts to thump and I breath out softly. Life was an annoying struggle. I wish I could end it.

A quiet knock echoes quietly through the room and I dont bother moving as I hear the door open. Maybe whoever it is will think I'm asleep and will just leave.

However when there's a soft dip in the bed and then something fuzzy and light falls on my back I groan. I slowly turn around slightly pushing the weight off of me. I sit up and look at the huge teddy bear. My eyes soften and I shale my head. These men are turning me insane.