Modification

Instant Control

Jacob

Hearing from Amour's mouth that she has the idea of me wanting to lay a ungentle touch on her makes me shiver. I would never submit Amour to the torture of being hurt by a loved one. It's so shocking to me that after all the hardships we've been through she still thinks that I would mimic her father's unjust actions. I thought Amour knew me better than that.

I don't know whether to be mad at her or myself. For Amour, my best friend since diapers, to think so little of me hurts me. Of course I know that I haven't been treating her like the frail princess that she is. Things need to change. Me and Amour need to speak but some how talking seems pointless. After me treating her like a jerk everyday for a couple months I don't expect her to open up to me like she did once before.

Amour wakes up as I prick at my bottom lip thinking about my past mistakes. She looks at me but breaks our eye contact before I can blink. She gets up walking into the kitchen. I glance at her bare legs that fortunately doesn't get engulfed in my big sweatshirt. I follow her to the kitchen taking a seat where I can look at her. Amour looks at me biting her lip and twisting her fist into her other hand.

"Good morning." She says finally and looks down nervously. "How'd you sleep?"

As much as I love my mom, God rest her soul, I'm not interested in having a father and son conversation with Amour. How'd you sleep? Next she'll be asking how's school. I get up from in front of her a little conflicted. I still feel horrible about her thinking those things about me but it's true Amour annoys me. I don't get how I stayed up all night thinking about the girl but she ask me the simplest question and I get aggravated.

"Are you okay?" Amour ask yet another annoying question. I just don't like her tone or anything matter of fact.

"Amour stop speaking to me like you're my mother. You know what happened last night and you are just gonna acts like everything is fine between us? Why?"

Amour scrunches up her face. "Jacob what are you talking about?"

I honestly wanted to tell her something about her lack of education but I withheld my tongue. "I don't get how you can not ask me if everything is alright after you accusing me of wanting to hit you."

"Jacob why does that affect you? I'm the one that gets abused by my only link of family then thinks that the one I love wants to hurt me. I get that you didn't think about it like that but do you know how unwanted I feel?"

"You shouldn't feel unwanted Amour! I don't treat-" Amour stops me short before I can finish.

"You treat me as if I'm a puppet you can control and still I come over here because this is one hundred times better than being with my father. I get that maybe you are only with me because you might be scared of what might happen without you in my life or maybe you are just putting up with me till you go on tour. I'm not trying to be some infection or poison that sickens you and I've been trying to stay quiet and stay out of your business because I don't want to lose you but if I am a poison then if you want to break up with me just tell me. Don't continue to treat me because I've never felt this horrible about my self these past couple months." After Amour's done articulating her fountain of emotions she rushes out the kitchen.

I don't know how I feel about what she said. I know I'm not treating her like Jay-z would Beyoncé but she shouldn't have a thought of me ending things. There is a bump in the road and instantly that means I'm breaking up with her. Amour must be too naive or misguided to understand relationships.

I hear the jerk of the multiply locks on the door and quickly walk out the kitchen. "Amour where are you going?" I yell. She doesn't respond to me and continues to confuse herself with the locks of the door. "Are you crazy Amour? You rather leave a growing star to go sleep on the streets? You know what happens to girls out there and that's what you are making of yourself? You want a cardboard blanket or a drunken man to keep you warm at night?"

Amour's rattling with the door stop and shakes her head to try to convince herself that everything like that won't happen to her. "That's better than being with you. It's mental torture to be with you."

I grab her forearm shaking from what she said. How dare she say that about me? I push Amour's back against the door shaking my head at her negligence. "You're an idiot."

"So are you!" Amour struggles to move under my grip as she speaks.

I close my mouth before having a back and forth argument on whose more stupid and get a bright idea. Although it's sick to think this way and if karma is an actual thing then I have it coming but if Amour has an idea of me hurting her like her father does than I control her like her father. "You're staying with me."

"No I'm not!"

I slam her back into the door cringing a little from the loud bang. "Quit playing with me Amour. We both know whose stronger."

Amour looks at me a little shocked but doesn't say anything. Her eyes begin to gather water and she bites her shaking bottom lip. "Okay just let me go." She say with a quavering voice.

I release my grip and Amour runs to the bathroom. I guess we aren't going to Elaine today.

•~••~•~••~•~••

What do you think Amour should do?

Do you think Jacob was right to treat Amour like that to keep her at his apartment?

What do you think will happen to Amour next?