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I watch Jacob leave and lock the door behind him. My crying session was not planned. I always plan to be strong and stand up to him and tell him to get the fuck out of my face but I can't. Every time I see him I remember how much I love him and it makes me sick and sad. He just walks in my room and my plan to break it off was completely ruined I mean I was suppose to go to him and end things. Instead I cried naked on the floor.

My heart or soul or whatever makes me feel all these feelings for him couldn't take it. When I look in his eyes I see someone I love and someone that took care of me but when I step back and when I'm alone thinking I can't help but cry over him. I feel so unimportant to him and he's all I can think about. He couldn't even take a minute to call me for over a month and yet I couldn't get him out of my head. And it's hard to tell your brain or your heart or your soul to stop feeling what it feels.  

I walk around my room trying to calm down. I'm so embarrassed and so angry at myself. The scene of me naked crying must have looked pathetic and like a total mental case. I'm a weak piece of shit. I believed for the longest time that we would be married and live happily ever after and breaking up with him seems so strange to me. I obviously couldn't do it. I just need time away from Jacob, away from all his different things going on.

I hear a knock on the door and groan walking over there. It's a maid standing there to give me a card. I take it and thank her going back into my room. I look at it and apparently there is a dinner for everyone participating in the tour in three hours.

Most of me doesn't want to go but it will be good to go out and show Jacob everything he missed out on. I have the perfect outfit to make him look like a foul for cheating on me. I sigh and lay on my bed snuggled up to watch some tv and wait out the three hours.

Yet another person knocks on the door I go over to it sighing. "It's Jacob." He says and I roll my eyes putting my hands in my robe thinking if I should open the door. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry and if breaking up is really what you want then it's fine. I do not want to end our relationship. I just think we're having hard times." He clears his throat and I hear him lean on the door. "I love you. I'll see you at dinner right?"

I groan and walk over to my tv putting it on high to drown out his voice. I can't do this thing with him anymore. I'm over it and I need to move on. Well I'll be in my feelings for right now. I reach over to the phone and order ice cream from room service and go over to the bag of deserts he got me. Sweets always make me feel better.

The door opens and Jacob is there. I roll over in my bed so I don't have to see him. I don't know who gave him a key or why they would do that but I'm completely frustrated with his spare key. "Can you respect my privacy and stop coming in my room."

"I just came to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

I nod."I'm fine. Now you can leave."

"I will." He says and leaves. I roll over on my back and shove another chocolate eclair in my mouth. I mean it's the best to shove things in your mouth when your sad. Don't take that wrong.

Another knock is on my door and I happily run over to the door thankful that my room service came. I open the door and my jaw drops looking at him."Marcus what are you doing here?"

"Elaine invited me she wants to do a shoot in Paris. Didn't she tell you."

I shake my head. "It's not like I have a anything better to do."

"You gonna invite me in or do I have to stand here?" He chuckles and I move out the way closing the door. He walks over to my bed and picks up the box from the bakery. "What happened?"