Psychosis

Post Traumatic

Our kiss after falling..well me falling and pulling Joel with me, was the signal to end the night on a high note. And it was indeed a very high note. Blissful and magnificent. I don't think don't there are words that are elegant enough to describe the feeling I had in my stomach when we walked hand and hand out into the parking lot, staying close together as the night was hit with a sudden chill. Despite everyone looking at us with either disgust or awkward intent, it didn't bother me. I wouldn't let it bother me.

Devin was already in the car waiting for us, nodding his head to some music and smiled as we approached. Although I doubt he was happy to be here, I'm glad he came with us and made this night possible. Joel, being the gentleman he is, opened my door for me and I slid in the back with ease with him following right after.

"Finally. We can leave!" Devin rejoiced from the drivers seat and I smacked his shoulder with playful intent. He blew a kiss towards me before peeling out of the parking lot and driving straight down the street. I turned to see the flashing neon lights of our first date slowly drift and drift until it was gone all together. I've been on plenty of dates with Natalie and even some people before that. Some were terrible, others were really good. But this one was definitely different...Different when the person you're with truly cares about you. Not that Natalie never cared for me, just not as much as I was led to believe. There were still parts of me that wondered if what she felt for me was as deep as it seemed. Or was it beautifully acted by the tragic actress herself? Maybe it was real as some point and just like a lot of things, it slowly drifted away and died. There are so many different answers and I decided to let myself settle on..it just wasn't meant to be.

"You're so cute when you're deep in thought" Joel said softly as he lovingly placed his chin on the top of my head, pulling me closer into his strong arms. I could feel my cheeks grow hot from his comment and I rested my head against his chest, saying nothing as his body rumbled with laughter. I felt his lips press against my forehead before he put his chin right back into its comfy spot. I slid my arms around his waist, looking out the window and watching the city past by us effortlessly. Devin was playing some synthwave song that fit perfectly with the way the night looked. It was sprinkling a little and the windows were covered in droplets. Watching the streetlights fly by was almost putting me in some type of trance and was making me feel sleepy. It didn't stop even as the city drifted into the same isolation from earlier. My eyes had slowly slid shut. It was quiet between all of us but it was a nice quiet. No one needed to speak.

When we arrived home, there were only a few lights on in the house. It was nearing midnight so it made sense that everyone was starting to settle for the night. Devin dropped us off right in front of the house and we made sure to thank him again for making this night possible. I understand the dangers but I was still happy it was able to happen. He threw us a salute and drove off to go home. Joel and I kept our hands together even as I pulled out my key to the house and opened the door. I could hear the TV in the living room and peaked around the corner to see mom and dad sitting on the couch together, watching a movie. I smiled a bit and watched them, hearing Joel close the door behind me. They must have heard us because dad turned around with a gentle smile.

"How was the date?" He asked me and I grinned, Joel sliding his arm around me with a kiss to the top of my head.

"Just perfect" I answered and moms eyes lit up with happiness before he turned back towards the movie they were watching. Dad winked at me before turning back as well. I looked up at Joel who seemed relieved before he inclined his head towards the stairs. Without a second to spare, we both headed upstairs and stopped right in front of my door. Joel, without a word, rested his hand on my cheek. I melted into his touch without hesitation. The wordless conversation going on between our gaze was enough to tell me that no matter what, we would be together. And thats all I needed.