Psychosis

Sibling Rivalry

Joel was curled up beside me, his head resting on my chest and he was fast asleep. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as if he was locking me into place. It was nearing 3 A.M but I couldn't really sleep. But my eyes were heavy with exhaustion. It was extremely quiet in the house, not even a creak on the floor. The only actual sound was the rain padding against my window consistently, never missing a beat. My eyes stayed fixated on the ceiling, thoughts swarming through my head. I was trying to think more about my past, even though it was still blurry. Vinny had given me everything but what the elixir had taken, was still in bits and pieces. My mind shifted to the questions that still lingered. Where do we go from here, what was Sebastian actually planning for me, who were those people who tried to take me the night Elizabeth had saved me?

But the biggest question, that one I had avoiding, was what was to happen with Joel and I?

We kissed...we actually fucking kissed.

I was never into men, never thought about them, never saw past a friend in males. But Joel...Joel was different. I had always saw him as a close friend, but I supposed there had always been that grey area, that "what if" between us. It didn't disgusts me to think about being with him, it didn't gross me out that we kissed. He had to pry me off of him before things got too loud or too heated. Maybe it wasn't a male being attracted to male...maybe I was just attracted to Joel and his aura. I craved his presence because thinking about what we have been through, I don't think I could have did it without him.  I need him and I guess in some way, he needs me. Together or just friends, we complete each other.

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I didn't want to wake up. But the smell of bacon and eggs had invaded my nostrils and my inner carnivore shook me to life. My eyes slowly blinked open and I looked around. My curtains were still open but it wasn't sunny. It was pretty grey outside but the rain had stopped. The bland sky almost reminded me of the constant grey from Leeds. There was a slight pang of homesick in the pit of my stomach but I shook it off. That last place I wanted to be was there, with Sebastian and Victor.

Sitting up, I realized that my bed was empty but the imprint of Joel was still there on the sheets. I wonder what time he had left but figured it had to have been early. If my dad would have caught him in here, lord knows what would have happened. Even though Joel probably would have been thrown out the window, it still made me smile knowing that my dad is that protective over me.

I rolled out of bed and stretched out, my joints cracking and losing their stiffness from the night. I still felt tired from falling asleep so late. Feels like I only got a couple hours in but when I looked at my phone, it was almost 12 P.M. I fell asleep around 4, or at least I think I did. I could barely remember.

I grabbed my hair brush and brushed out the tangles from my hair before putting it up in a messy bun. I opened the door just to be greeted by Snow who brushed up against my legs. With a smile, I leaned down and stroked his soft fur, causing him to arch his back in response. Together, we walked down the hallway to the giant staircase and descended. I followed the smell of breakfast right into the kitchen where Joel and my mom were. Joel was stuffing his face with a full plate of food. Mom was holding coffee mug to his lips while scrolling through his phone. I sniffed and could smell the sweet liquid coming from his cup. It wasn't coffee. 

Upon hearing me enter, mom looked up at me and smiled. I don't think I could ever get over how beautiful his smile was. And his eyes! I never understand why would loved my eyes so much. They were nothing ever special to me but seeing his, made me understand. 

"Morning love. How did you sleep?" Mom asked me and I shrugged, pulling up a seat next to Joel. I was definitely going to play down how good I slept because I didn't want mom to know it was in the arms of Joel DeVell.