LOVEJOY ━━ outer banks¹

o. anywhere but here

PROLOGUE:
ANYWHERE BUT HERE
(six months before summer | trigger warning: underage drinking, implied sexual assault and death)

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HAVEN DIDN'T WANT TO be at Sarah Cameron's birthday party. The music was too loud, the lights too bright. Alcohol was passed around in red solo cups that Haven recognised from those cliché teen movies that her friends loved so much. She'd accepted one at the beginning when Sarah stumbled over to her with her own cup and a dazed smile, but she was beginning to regret it now as the room spun just that bit too much. Haven wanted to find a corner to sit down in, to just close her eyes and sleep the night away, but Sarah's hands gripping her own as she jumped up and down in the swarm of drunk and dancing teenagers were too hard to escape. 

It was Sarah's sixteenth birthday. The least she could do was try and seem happy.

She'd fought with her dad before he dropped her off. Darren Murphy had wanted his daughter home for the night, not trusting his little girl in Ward Cameron's house of all places. Haven hadn't understood it, and despite not wanting to be there either, the stubborn teenage part of her refused to let her parents dictate what she could and couldn't do. And so she put on her best dress and a strappy pair of heels to match the outfit Sarah had sent her a photo of, making her way downstairs to where her father was working in the living room. The drive was silent, tense, and Haven hadn't even said goodbye as she got out of the car and disappeared into the crowd of her schoolmates.

She'd apologise when she got home. Whenever that was.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab another drink," Sarah shouted, leaning in close so that Haven could just make out what she said over the Drake song that Topper had insisted on playing. "Do you want anything?"

Haven shook her head. "I'm good."

With a shrug, Sarah finally let her go and disappeared into the kitchen. Haven stood there for a moment, her dress feeling uncomfortably tight with the heat of a dozen bodies pressing in around her. Maybe she could sit outside for a bit, take in the cool air of the approaching winter. However, just as she went to excuse herself, a hand grabbed hold of her wrist and spun her around.

"Hey," Kelce grinned down at her. He was drunk, Haven could smell the alcohol on his breath, and there was something different about the way he looked at her. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Outside," she stuttered, strangely nervous as she looked anywhere but at him. She caught sight of Rafe and his group smirking in the corner, staring right at her. She shifted uneasily, especially when she saw the unimpressed almost saddened expression on Topper's face. That wasn't something anyone saw often. Even Sarah didn't see the genuine side of her boyfriend.

"I don't think so," Kelce insisted, beginning to tug her further into the crowd despite the way Haven shook her head. "We should dance."

"Uh, I think I'm good-"

"It wasn't a question, Murphy."

Haven wanted to be anywhere but there. She didn't know Kelce or his friends well despite Sarah being related to one and dating the other, but she knew them from around school and she'd heard the stories of how they — or, more specifically, Kelce and Rafe — would treat girls, but she never thought she'd be one of their targets. She stared hopefully at the kitchen, praying for Sarah to return, but her blonde friend was nowhere to be seen and Kelce's grip was tightening enough that Haven knew it would bruise. And so she said nothing as he pulled her in close, despite feeling sick to her stomach, eyes glassy with tears.

What was she supposed to say?

Time passed by in flickers. Haven's brain blocked most of the memory out, but she remembered Sarah appearing as Kelce's hands pressed against her hips, the blonde girl shouting angrily as she shoved between the two. Haven had rushed outside without another thought, her hand reaching into her purse for her phone.

She wanted to go home. Why didn't she fucking stay home?

"Dad," she sobbed as the man in question picked up her call. He didn't even get a chance to speak before Haven started talking, but he knew his daughter and there was something very wrong. "Dad, can you come get me. Please?"

"I'm on my way."

Darren was there quicker than what the speed limit probably allowed him to be. He pulled up in front of where his daughter sat curled up on the curb, his eyes alight with fury as he got out to open the door for her. Behind them, Sarah began calling out Haven's name, but the brunette refused to turn back as she got inside and her dad closed the door for her. A moment later, he was in the driver's seat and they were speeding down the road, her dad slowly reaching out to grab her hand.

"Are you okay?"

The question caught her off guard. The tears came before she could stop them, tightening in her chest and making it hard to breathe.
 
"Hey, I don't know what's happening, but it'll be okay." He squeezed her hand, their eyes meeting as he glanced away from the road for a split second. "I promise."

Haven went to tell him what happened, the way Kelce had made her feel. But before she had the chance, there was a screech of tires veering off the asphalt and everything went black.

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A/N: so this is obviously a heavy start to haven's story, i'm aware of that. when first plotting this, i decided i really wanted to explore themes of my own life as a woman and while i can't completely relate to haven's experience, i know a lot of women who can. if anybody needs someone to talk to, my messages are always open. i can't promise that i'll have all the answers but i can definitely point you in the right direction of them. and yeah, thank you so much for reading! i'd really like to hear your thoughts as the book progresses :)