I'll Catch You (A Harry Potter Fan Fiction)

Remission & Reunion

The buzzing in my ears was the only thing that was distracting me as I looked down at the exam on my desk. I had only taken enough potion that morning to hold back the painful memories, but it still felt like I was in a haze. Remembering the answers? Not a problem. My problem was the sudden intensity of my senses.

Hermione tapping her quill on her desk rapidly on the other side of the room was as loud as if she was beating it against my eardrum, but I gritted my teeth together and continued on my exam.

Aguamenti is a commonly used charm. What happens when it is performed?

"Think Aqua from Aguamenti. It sends a burst of water out of your wand" the carefree voice of George floated from the back of my mind. It was so clear, I would have sworn he was standing behind me and whispering in my ear.

I gripped my pencil tighter and scribbled down the answer, pausing for a moment to close my eyes and push him out of my head. The pain of the death eaters was gone, but the pain he had caused me was sitting in the back of my mind, waiting for the most inconvenient time to spring up. The more I tried to push him away, the more he invaded my mind, hiding in every corning and seeping into every thought.

My hands started to shake as I gripped my quill so hard it bent in my hand, quivering as it threatened to snap and spill ink all over me.

Why did he have to leave? Why would he leave me here when he knew that it took all of my strength to just get out of bed every morning? When I was afraid to even go into my room alone because I was afraid they were going to be waiting for me?

Because he didn't know, the voice in my head said quietly.

What are you going on about now? I retorted impatiently as I scribbled down the answer to the next question.

He didn't know, you wanker! Ever since you started taking the potion, you've been acting like everything is all fine and dandy!

And your point is?

My point is that is you hadn't been taking that damn potion, that he wouldn't have left!

..... I miss him.

And you think that I don't? Hello! How many times do we have to go over this? I am a part of you, just the much more logical part. I miss him as much as you do, so much it hurts, but at least I can see past myself and realize that the best thing for him to do was leave.

But what you're saying is, he wouldn't of left if I wouldn't have been taking the potion?

Well, not exactly....

And in turn, it's my fault that he left?

No, not at all!

But I shut her down before she could go on anymore. During my silent conversation with myself, I had absently finished the exam and placed the quill down on the desk. I picked up my exam and brought it over to Professor Flitwick in a fog, before grabbing my rucksack from under my desk and leaving the room. I had finished even before Hermione, who was double checking her answers maniacally as her hair slowly grew fluffier and fluffier.

My feet led me around the school, my hand tight around the vile in my pocket as I headed up to the Gryffindor common room. The staggering steps I took went in unison to my too-loud heart, beating in my ears.

My fault. It was all my fault that he had left.

The door of my dorm slammed behind me and I pressed my back to the wood, trying to stay upright as I reached into my pocket to grab the vile of potion with a pulsating hand. It grew in my hand, becoming heavier and heavier until the weight was unnatural. It was my fault. It was the potions fault.