𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃

꧁ THIRTY ONE ꧂

  Nessa stares at the hospital room door intently. Josh always arrives around 3pm and he's already a half hour late. She starts to conjure up horror stories of what it could be that's holding him back. Did he get into an accident? Has he left her? Is Abigail okay?. All of her loud thoughts are hushed when she finally sees his head at the window. He's standing outside, looking at her with the widest smile that makes her heart burst. His hair is messy like it always is and his tanned, sudden expressionless face gives away no secrets whatsoever.

  When he slowly opens the door and takes the first few steps inside; Nessa's hand throws itself against her mouth to quieten the large gasp that comes flying out of it. Her forrest green eyes spill out tears of nothing but happiness seconds after she sets eyes on her baby girl for the first time ever. Nessa no longer takes notices of her boyfriend but instead only focuses on the dreaming newborn that lays comfortably in her daddy's arms.

   "Ca-can I hold her..please?" She cries out- her voice almost as tiny as the baby.

  Josh nods, smiling as he hands their daughter over to her mother. Abigail fits perfectly into her mothers arms, only stirring a little as she tries to get comfortable. Nessa holds her breath until the small child is still once again.

  She allows herself to look dotingly at her daughter for a moment. Her teeny tiny hands are curled into fists and her perfectly pouty lips are pressed together while she sleeps. Nessa admires her long thick eyelashes and cute button nose. The amount of brunette locks of hair that is growing on her head explains the heartburn that Nessa suffered from during her pregnancy. As she's sitting there with her whole world in the one room, Nessa can't help but be thankful that she was able to see this. That she was able to meet her baby girl.

   "Let me take her back for you" Josh says softly, standing up from his chair. Nessa feels a little disappointed that she only got to hold her for a short while.

       "Josh, I promise I'm okay. I haven't held her. I just want to hold her" Nessa ensures but he doesn't budge.

    Josh carefully takes Abigail back into his own arms and she doesn't wake up, her petite body fitting back into place almost as if she were a puzzle piece and Josh's arms were the puzzle. "I haven't really held her since yesterday. There's plenty of time for you to hold her, I just want to make sure you're not overdoing it Bambi".

  His statement leaves Nessa curious. If he didn't have their daughter last night, then who did?

  "Wait what do you mean you haven't held her since yesterday? Who did she stay with? Is your mom in town? I thought she wasn't getting in for another two days" She rambles. Josh looks up at the concerned girl and smiles reassuringly.

He places his hand over hers. "Mads has been taking Abigail to her house for sleepovers whenever I stay late here. You'll really have to thank her Ness, she's been an amazing help. She feeds Abby, bathes her, gets her dressed...and she doesn't even complain about it. I joked that we should hire her as a full time nanny". Josh laughs at his own comment but Nessa doesn't see the funny side.

Instead, all she can think about is all the 'firsts' that she's missed out on with her daughter while Mads has been there for it all. Although Nessa is aware it isn't Mads' fault, she can't help but feel a burning rage in her stomach because of it.

  "I want to discharge myself from this place" She blurts out, grabbing his attention. "I want to come home and be with my baby in my home".

   Her sudden anger catches Josh off guard and he can't fathom what's got her so upset. He pulls out his phone and shoots a quick text before turning his attention back towards his pissed off girlfriend. Better safe than sorry.

     "You can leave whenever you want Bambi, Dr. Simmons already expressed that he's happy with your recovery and you can leave if you feel ready". Josh explains, holding her hand.

Before the brunette can respond, Mads comes rushing into the room- a worried expression on her face. She stops at the end of the hospital bed, her eyes on Josh and him only. Nessa can't help but notice how she didn't even look in her direction.

     "What's wrong? Is she fussy? I have her diaper bag outside, I'll change her and give her a bottle-"

     "Bottle?" Nessa questions, Mads finally looking at her. "I specifically said I wanted to breast feed". The comment is directed towards Josh but it's the blond who answers.

   "Ness we know you had your heart set on breast feeding but with you being so sick, it wasn't possible for you to do so. We had to turn to formula or else Abby would starve" Mads tells her, Josh nodding his head in agreement. Nessa didn't like that she was saying 'we' a lot. Nessa didn't like that Mads got to spend more time with her daughter than she did. It was all too much for her to handle.

   "Mads why don't you take her and give us time to talk. Nessa wants to leave today so maybe you could go back home and get everything ready? If it's not too much of an ask of course" Josh suggests.

  Mads agrees immediately, taking baby Abigail from her dad and holding her in her own arms once again. The smile on Mads' face is radiant as she looks at the baby before saying her goodbyes, leaving the two alone.

   "Let's get you those discharge papers shall we?" Josh hums, getting ready to leave the room.

Nessa grabs ahold of his arm and he turns around, confused. She pulls him down next to her on the bed. There are no words spoken between them but they both know what's going on. Nessa lays her head on his shoulder and allows herself to crumble. She hasn't cried since she first woke up and all these emotions are tumbling towards her at once. Josh holds her, comforting her and hushing her cries. They've both been through a lot in the past year but they've always had each other by their sides.