❝ My first impression of
Dream? He was a dick. ❞
In which a streamer doesn't get along with the most famous Minecraft player, but gets along well with his best friends who try to make them like each other.
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"So... How you've been?"
Dream glanced at his ex-girlfriend, giving her a look that had her slowly nodding. She puffed her cheeks, clearly finding this whole situation awkward. They've been swinging on the swings for 5 minutes now and the glare the boy had given her was the first he has even glanced at her.
"You know," Dream finally spoke, moving his legs a little so he could move. He looked off, ignoring the fact that she turned to look at him, "I was afraid to see you. I couldn't... I couldn't bring myself to look you straight in the eyes because I'm afraid that I'll do anything you say like I always end up doing."
She opened her mouth but Dream gave her another look.
"I tried my best during our relationship," he continued, looking away from her. "I-I bought you flowers, I drove to your house, and I-I loved you. I loved you with everything I had and you threw it away as if it meant nothing. It meant everything to me just for you to throw it away?"
"I held you when you were at your lowest," Dream felt his eyes burn with tears and he quickly blinked them away, "I held you when you needed someone. I held you because it hurt me to see you hurt. But, when I needed you the most... You were never there. I fucking felt alone because you were going behind my back fucking some other dude."
"Clay..."
"I'm not fucking done," Dream huffed. "I put this perfect mask for you. I put it on so you could see that I was happy when I fucking felt like shit being around you. I was scared of you because I was afraid you were going to hit me. I was afraid of opening my mouth because I thought you wouldn't like what I said to you. I had my walls up the whole entire time I was with you because I felt that as soon as I let them down, you will come in and take over me again."
Dream took a deep breath in, feeling one single tear escape his eye.
"I loved you so much. I did. I would've given you the fucking world if I had to just so you could be happy, but... Clearly that didn't work out because as soon as I gave you the world, you gave it to someone else and claimed you still loved me."
"And then," he emphasized, "then, you moved on not so long after we broke up and I felt like shit even more. I was questioning myself majority of the time and was pointing out my mistakes in our relationship, and I truly believed I failed you. I truly believed I did. I mean, if you claimed you still loved me then why were you murmuring "I love you" to a guy you just started dating two days after our breakup and kissed him? I was crying for you for months until I could finally say your name without remembering everything."
"Not only did I remember everything, but... I started believing that anyone who wanted to be with me will leave me because I wasn't what they believed I was," Dream played with his fingers. "I started pushing people away, I started losing myself, too, because I was bringing myself down. I started becoming a hypocrite because you have me telling thousands of people to live themselves when I couldn't even do so because you fucking made me feel like absolute trash!"
The louder that Dream's tone got, the more it alerted the girl watching him.
"I tried to be happy for you," Dream let out a shaky breath, "I tried so fucking hard. I loved you. I truly did, and I thought I still did but I don't. I made myself believe I wasn't in love with a girl I started getting closer to. I started scolding myself whenever I saw that I opened up to her. But... I shouldn't have ran like you did. I shouldn't have done that."
"I just... Why did you leave me?"
At his question, the girl could now see she was being allowed to speak, so she did.
"I could see I was hurting you," she breathed out, "but I also left because I fell in love with someone else. I wasn't the best. I still am not, but I'm trying. I'm trying to become a better person compared to the one you had dated."
"You decided to do all that after we ended?"
"I decided to do it because I couldn't handle knowing that I already hurt one person," she tried to defend. "How did I want someone to love me when I was a fucking mess? I hit you, Clay. I shouldn't have done that at all. You didn't deserve anything I had done to you and... And I really am sorry. Clearly, you don't need to accept my apology, but I just wanted to tell you."
"I tried so hard to date, too," Dream muttered under his breath. "I tried so hard. But, I felt guilt that I was letting you down. I felt, like... I was somehow cheating you even when we were not together."
"You've gotta let me go, Clay," she softly spoke to him, about to reach for his hand. Dream immediately moved away as much as he could. "Stop letting what I did to you get in the way of you finally being fucking happy with someone who withholds the same respect for you. I'll admit, I was the worst girlfriend. I was the worst. Do you think this girl would be the worst?"
Dream shook his head without a doubt, his gaze on his feet as he listened to this new person speaking before him.
"If not, stop being afraid," she mumbled to him.
"I'm scared," Dream admitted, wiping his tears away. "What if she realizes I'm a big joke and that I'm nothing?"
"Has she seen you at your worst?"
"I've slept in front of her and woke up to feel a a finger entering my mouth," Dream remembered. There was a morning, just between him and Angelica. A special morning after having slept next to each other since they were watching movies the night before. He had woken up to feel a finger in his mouth and was told that he was sleeping with his mouth open.
Dream's ex laughed a little.
"You need to stop worrying," she hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder as she stood up from the swing and now stood In front of him. "Stop listening to that head if yours for once and think about what you want. Do you love her?" Nod. "How much?"
Dream thought about it.
He thought about it.
He thought about her.
From her smile. To her eyes. To her lips. To the moles by her cheeks. To her tattoos. To her earrings. To her rings. Everything. He remembered everything about her. He remembered every single night they watched movies and talked under the stars.
"I love her a lot."
His ex smiled a bit.
"If you love her, then stop running."
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Goodnight. It's 4:30 am and I have to be awake at 6 😅
I'll update later :)
Tell me what you think about this chapter here or on the server :D
Also, wanted to clarify, this book is completely fictional. FICTION.
