Childhood friends to lovers (daryl dixon)

Regrets

I open my eyes and I'm in the living room of the house. I don't remember falling asleep. "Fuck" I whisper. I was supposed to leave last night and I fucking fell asleep. "I'm such an idiot" I say pinching the bridge of my nose. Maggie walks in the front door with Glenn. She turns to me "oh your awake" she smiles. I groan "I don't remember falling asleep." They laugh "well we walked outside and you were knocked out before it wasnt even dark out" Glenn says. I shake my head and then we hear a car pull up. Glenn and Maggie both go back outside and I sit on the couch. Goddamn it now I have to wait again why do things have to be complicated. I get up and almost fall, I look down and my bags there with my sword. I smile and put my sword in its holster and go outside to see what's up. I walk over to the camp and Apparently it's Rick and Shane and they brought the guy back because something went wrong. "Daryl is beating him for information." Shane says. I shake my head and walk back to the house. Suddenly I'm very dizzy, I make it up the stairs and sit in one of the chairs on the porch. I put my head in my hands. I hear someone walk out of the house and towards me. "What's wrong." I look up and it's Hershel, I put my head back down. "I'm really dizzy." "Do you have a head ache?" He ask and I nod my head. "Have you eaten yesterday or today?" Come to think of it I haven't. "No." "Do you remember when you last ate?" I say there and shake my head no. "Come on in I'll fix you something." I shake my head "I'll be ok it's just a bad head ache." "Y/N come in." I look up and him and follow him. We get in the kitchen and I sit down while he fixes something for me. "Thank you again for fixing Beth up." "Your welcome." He looks at me "she told me and Maggie about your talk with her." I nod my head. "It's good to know she has someone that knows what she is going through" I say. He hands me a sandwich and a glass of water "thank you." He pats my back "we are lucky to have you Y/N" he says and walks away. I start eating. Maybe I shouldn't leave I'm not sure about anything anymore. I think I just over reacted right? I finish my food and go back outside and to the camp I need to talk to Carol I've been a bitch lately. I find her in the rv. "Carol" she looks to me. "I'm sorry for being rude." She shakes her head. "Don't be I kinda figured out what was wrong." I nodded and went to hug her and she hugged back. While we were hugging she says "you know I talked with him about what he said." I pull back and shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it or him."  I go to walk out of the rv. "He is sorry you know he didn't mean what he said." I continue to walk out and back to the house. I get to the porch and look back to where he moved his own little camp to. He is hanging up squirrel on a line tied to the trees. I shake my head and go back inside the house to sit on the couch. I take my shoes off and pull my legs to my chest; I lay my head on my knees and try to shut everything off again. Soon everyone comes in the house to have a meeting about the boy. I scoot over so Maggie can sit and I pull my legs back to my chest and she pats my back. I look at her and she smiles. I just simply nod my head. I look up and Daryl walks in. We make short eye contact before I pull away and put my head back to my knees. "So how do we do this take a vote?" "Does it have to be unanimous" "how about majority rules." I zone out not wanting to listen, there's to many thoughts in my head. Do I actually leave tonight or do I say? Do they actually need me here? I've helped them a lot. Is Daryl ok? After what he said to me I still care for his stupid ass. I can't bring myself to talk to him or even look at him. I'm still pissed at him. Then I get pulled out of my thoughts "Y/N what do you think about this?" I look up and everyone's looking at me. I shake my head "I couldn't care less if we kill him or not. I wasn't even paying attention." I say shrugging my shoulders. "Either way someone's unhappy so who gives a damn." "Your part of the group you have a say." Dale says encouraging me on. I shake my head no "I'd rather not be apart of this." "Not speaking up and killing him yourself is the same thing." Dale says. I look up at him. "I said what I had to say, if you would like me to go kill him myself i gladly will." Dale shakes his head and continues to talk. I roll my eyes and put my shoes back on and head for the door. "Where you going?" Carol asks me. "Away from this." "You better come back." I just walk outside. I just need air. To much shut is going on right now. I walk out to the field and sit down. After a few minutes I hear footsteps. "Carol i told you i won't leave im just getting air." "It's not carol" I hear a deep raspy voice say and I know it's daryl. I don't dare look back at him. "Y/N we need to talk." I ignore him. "Y/N" he says again. I stay silent until I hear footsteps walking away. I let out a deep breath I didn't even know I was holding in. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I wanted to talk to him I just can't bring myself to do so. I stay in the fields until it gets dark out. I stand up and head back to the house. Until I hear someone scream. I pull my sword out and go to the scream. I get there and Daryls there with Dale and he had been ripped open by a zombie. I bend down "hey hey look at me it's ok" I say putting his head in my lap. Everyone is screaming for Hershel and he comes. "We have to do the operation here." Rick says and Hershel says he won't make it. I look at Dale "There has to be something we can do" I say with tears in my eyes. "He's suffering do something" Andrea says. Rick points a gun at him but can't do it so Daryl takes it. Dale looks at me "I'm sorry" I keep whispering. The next thing I know there's a bang and blood splattered on me. I look at Dale and just break down. He was like the father I never had. And in his last moments I was a bitch to him. I feel more tears coming down my face, there mixing with the blood that was splattered on my face. I keep whispering "I'm sorry." I hear my name being called but it's a blur. How could something like this happen? Dale didn't deserve any of this. I'm pulled up by someone and I look and it's Daryl. I pull away from him not wanting his comfort and walk away to the house. I get to the porch and sit on the stairs. I'm shaking from all the shock. I go to wipe my face forgetting his blood all over me. I begin to cry more. I hear footsteps but I ignore them. "Y/N look at me." I look up and it's Maggie. She squats in front of me "it's ok." I shake my head and look down putting my fingers in my hair and gripping tightly. "Y/N" she says grabbing my wrists. "Let go Y/N." I ignore her. "Glenn go get me a wet rag please." I hear the front door open and close. "Y/N you have to let go." I soon listen to her and Glenn comes out with a wet rag and hands it to Maggie. She starts wiping my face and hands. "It's ok he is in a better place." I shake my head "I.. I was rude to him in meeting he hated me." "No no he just didn't understand he didn't hate you." She says trying to reassure me. "How is she." I hear someone say. Maggie continues to wipe the blood off. "I mean you did just shoot a person she cared for right in front her." I hear Glenn say. I try to grip my hair again and Maggie grabs my wrist. "No griping hair, Daryl hold her wrists for me please." "I don't think-" Maggie cuts him off "just hold them for me." I feel two strong hands grip my wrists. "Has she always done the hair grip thing?" Maggie asks. "When she starts to freak out or have anxiety attacks she usually does." I hear Daryl say. Maggie finish's getting all the blood off she could. "Lets get you out of these clothes, good thing you weren't wearing your jacket you would of been pissed if it got blood on it." She says smiling at me. Daryl lets go of my wrist and Maggie helps me up. I go in the house and she helps me change. "You can sleep in the guest room tonight" I hear Maggie say. I ignore her. I feel so numb. She puts me in the guest room. "Lay down I'll bring your stuff up." I sit on the bed and pull the covers over me. I hear the door open and close. I hear a grunt and look over and Daryls putting my stuff on the floor. He turns around and looks at me. "I know you probably don't want to see me or talk to me but I'm watching you for the night." He says sitting down in the chair. I ignore him and we sit in silence for what seems like forever. "Why'd you say it." I finally say. "What?" "Why did you say that to me that night." He sighs "look Y/N I wasn't in my right mind that night i was pissed off and took my anger out on you if I could go back I would." I don't say anything and lay down and close my eyes.

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