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I wake up with dark circles and my neck is sore. We have a 1 o'clock session today. I get up and take Juliet to be fed, burped and changed. I turn off the alarm and go upstairs to our deck. I place Juliet in her bassinet and fall asleep on the deck.
I wake up no Sam no Juliet but see thawed ice packs. I panic thinking they left. I go upstairs and see Sam is asleep on the deck. I cuddle next to her. Babe sorry I am tired and in too much pain to drive. Isabella is going to take you today. I have already called your new therapist and explained why. Gloria is tired too. You will be taking Juliet with you. I kiss Jane and go back to sleep on the chaise chair.
I go downstairs and Isabella and I eat our breakfast and head out back home. On the way back home I open up to Isabella about being captured and tortured by Hoyt.
Isabella grabs my hand
while we drive and grips it for a few minutes and let's go. I know its her way of showing care when she doesn't know what to say. Isabella starts to sing and I join in. Juliet is loving it. We arrive at the therapists office. The therapist greets us and asks me if I want Isabella to join us. I agree. I figured Isabella could tell the girls instead of me how my session went.
Jane Samantha called me earlier with her concerns. What are your concerns? My nightmares are returning from Hoyt. I don't know who Hoyt is. Hoyt was a man who was fascinated with me when I was a detective for the BOSTON police department in homicide. He captured me and tortured me. The first time he captured me by himself he tied and taped me to a table and later a chair. He stabbed my palms with a scaple. I was able to get freed. He was caught and escaped. Several years later I responded to a scene and he had a man come up from behind me and injected me with something that sedated me. I woke up in another warehouse like last time. This time I was able to get loose and stabbed his hand with a knife. He was arrested again but eventually was released. My family and friends did everything to keep me safe. I had enough being haunted by him. I left while my family left me for a few and lost my fellow officers to look for Hoyt. I found him. I shot him once and he overpowered me and was going to kill me when Vince Korsak by former partner and sgt, my present partner Frost and my younger brother and a few other officers arrived. I was able to distract Hoyt for a few. Korsak got a shot in and killed him. I have not had dreams or better known as horrific nightmares. I seen therapists and psychiatrist who prescribed me medication to assist me. When I left Boston, I had my prescription refilled. I went home the next day to get my medications and vitamins , weapons and clothes to stay a week or so at our new cottage in the country. As you know, I killed the infamous Irish Mob boss from the states. I didn't wake up and had a nightmare fighting Hoyt but strangling Sam and it happened again. I know I will never truly get rid of the memory and killing Paddy brought these episodes again.
Jane you seemed to have learned alot from your previous therapist. What has worked for you before? Counseling after bucking it until my captain gave me an ultimatum. Counseling , get cleared so I can work or find a new career. I chose the counseling. Shooting my weapons at the range allows me to get my aggressions out safely than I excercise too. I don't want to hurt Sam nor any other loved ones. Sam, Gloria and I went to the range yesterday. This usually takes me three weeks to get through this with my medication and counseling. Jane I would like you to try yoga as well. Alternate between the range one day and yoga and other exercises. I just don't want you to over do it on the exercises. I am not one for weapons but this helps you. As long as you are safe, I will recommend it. If it doesn't help, I will contact the PD to retrieve your weapons from the household. I am giving you an exercise for you to do first than ask the others to join you for the later part. I need your permission to make contact with them to get their feedback on the exercise. Do you agree with this? Yes, I will dp whatever to get through this. Like I mentioned I don't want to hurt my loved ones.
Okay, here is the assignment.I would like to see you one week frpm today at 1 again. Thank you for seeking out help. Your daughter is adorable thank you.This is a good step.

Isabella, Juliet and I leave. We go to a hole in the wall restaurant to eat Italian food and head back to the cottage.As soon as Jane sat in the passenger seat, she reclines it and goes to sleep. It takes longer to get back because of people returning home from work.

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