The Captain and I's Final Love (Captain America Fanfiction) (6th Book)

Chapter Thirty: Feelings Are Hard

I searched around the compound until I found Steve. He was in the gym, using the punching bag. It brought me all the way back to when I was sent to track him down with Fury. It was our job to find the man out of time. If only I had known then how much more I would find. It suddenly made my heart ached. 

"Hey you," I finally said, walking towards him. 

He stopped punching and turned to look at me. I could tell he looked relieved to see that I tracked him down after all. I'm sure he was thinking he was going to have to find me first.

"I told you I'd come," I reminded him. 

"I know," he said. "I also know sometimes talking isn't easy for you." 

"You're right. But, this is too important to run from."

"Listen, I want you to know the truth. All of it. I don't want any of it to be hidden," he told me seriously. 

"That's what I want too," I told him, even though I wasn't so sure. Maybe it would be easier to just live in ignorant bliss? But, we had been through too much to do that. I was also too nosy to go that long without knowing the truth eventually. It was better to rip off the bandaid. 

"Then let me show you. I don't think words will ever convince you. You need to see it all, where nothing is edited out." 

"Are you sure about that?" I asked, the words came out barely above a whisper. I wasn't sure if I could handle that. I knew if he was going to break the worst to me, he'd at least be able to edit it. Make it prettier. Soften the blow. This almost seemed cruel. 

"Trust me," he said earnestly. 

Steve reached forward, grabbing my hands in his. They felt warm and safe. I could only nod, the tears already welling in my eyes.

I stopped for a moment, my hands hesitating before they touched his temples.

"Before I do this, before I see the truth, I want you to know I love you. I never knew love before you. You have taught me so much and-" 

"Just trust me," he whispered before touching my hands to his temple.

I nodded my head, closed my eyes, and did what I was most scared to do. 

I faced the truth. 

I was suddenly back in that room. The room that changed my entire world. This time, however, I could see it all through Steve's eyes. I could hear his thoughts in these moments. I was living the memories as if I was Steve. 

It sucked the breath out of me. 

I looked through his eyes, seeing what he saw when he noticed her for the first time. Peggy was standing in the room, a folder in her hand as she spoke. She was in her element here. She was in all her glory. His eyes, well our eyes, they didn't move.They were glued to this figure from the past. Steve didn't breathe for a moment, it was like he had seen a ghost. But, what I thought he would be feeling at this moment, wasn't there. I thought his heart would be pounding out of his chest. I thought he would be feeling the urge to reach out, to grab her hand and never look back. But instead, his feelings were what he had told me, shock. Like seeing a ghost. 

What he was feeling, what he was thinking at this moment, it wasn't love. Well, it wasn't the love I thought it would be. The way he looked at her, it wasn't a passionate love or the feeling I felt when I looked at Steve. It was more about fondness. Like a friendship. Like seeing a friend you hadn't in years. Someone you thought you may never see again. It was a platonic feeling. 

Maybe I had it all wrong. 

Then, in the memory, his eyes darted to where I must have been standing, but I had already darted out the door. It was closed by the time he had turned to look.

I had guess he had noticed I left. 

That's when I felt the pain. It was like his heart was breaking. I could feel the immense guilt he had felt. The guilt for not making me know there was no competition. For making his wife second guess his love.

I watched through his eyes as he panicked and ran after me, not looking back as he darted out of the office. The long-lost friend vanished from his mind as he raced down the halls to where I went. It was as if nothing else mattered at that moment, but me. 

Now it was my turn to feel bad. 

I took my hand off his head, blinking back tears as both of us opened our eyes. 

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "You must think I'm horrible." 

"You still don't get it," he mumbled, placing a hand delicately on both sides of my face. 

"Don't get what?"

"I think you're perfect," he murmured before kissing me. 

The kiss deepened, both of us losing ourselves in it. His hands were all over me, as mine were entwined in his hair. 

It was like we were making up for all the lost time. 

We broke away for a moment.

"You still love me?" I asked although I felt silly as soon as the words left my mouth.

"I still love you. I'll always love you. You are the one. You have always been the one," he assured me, before pulling me back in. 

Our lips were back on each other in an instant. The words that haven't been said, no longer needed to be said. I had seen it all, and now I was feeling it all. 

The two of us, we were solid. 

We were forever. 

~~~A/N Hope you guys enjoyed! I am getting so excited/sad that this book is slowly coming to a close! I want everyone to see the ending, but I also don't want to be done writing this series. It has seriously brought me so much joy!

Let me know what you thought!

Also, have you seen Black Widow? I loved it! Scarlett was amazing as per usual. But, Florence was also great. I have watched several of her movies and she has quickly become a favorite of mine. Did you enjoy the movie? 

Hope everyone has a good week :) ~~~