Longing •Bucky Barnes•

40. Fear

I woke fairly late compared to my usual schedule. After staying out late watching over Pepper and having to carry Morgan back to the apartment. I woke around 9 in the morning and I was still exhausted as I opened my eyes. I buried my face into the sheets, but looked back up when I smelt something cooking.

I rushed to my feet hoping Morgan hadn't taken it upon herself to make something to eat. I got up and heard Bucky's voice and I relaxed realizing he was the one cooking. I walked out and saw Morgan on the couch watching a cartoon and eating her breakfast.

"Good morning beautiful." I heard from the kitchen and I turned to see Bucky making two more plates of food.

"How was it?" I asked referring to his night being watched by Bruce.

"I slept horribly, nothing happened though." He said exhaling.

"Any answers from Bruce?" I asked hopeful for answers.

"Nothing yet, but we've got bigger problems." He said shaking his head as I stood next to him.

"What do you mean?" I asked softly.

"I don't know what possessed him to do this but Sam turned over the shield to the Smithsonian." Bucky said and my eyebrows raised.

"He gave it up?" I asked not expecting that.

"I guess so." He said shaking his head as he took the pan off the burner. "I don't know what's gotten into him. He kept talking about this group called the Flag Smashers whenever I tried talking to him. It's all very worrying."

"Last I heard he was going back to Louisiana to help his sister with some stuff." I said shocked. "But to give up the shield, that's just crazy it doesn't make sense."

"I don't know, I can't ponder on it too much." He said shrugging shrugging.

"I guess so." I said because I knew we both respected Steve enough to know he gave that shield to Sam.

"How's your wrist?" He asked referring to the cast I still wore almost a week later.

In most cases even after the worst fights I'd be in primo shape a few days after but Bucky snapped my wrist clean in half and tore most of the muscles in that area. I knew he felt horrible and I tried to not talk about the pain knowing he'd feel guilty. I was hopeful to have the cast off in a few days, but I knew I needed to have patience.

"It's fine, I hardly feel it anymore." I said with a small smile even though it was a constant pain. "I'm just glad you're at least starting to get help, we never got the chance to talk about the therapist, how was that?"

"Horrible. I feel ridiculous talking about my feelings like I'm some fragile being." I said shaking his head.

"Bucky, I know it feels silly but it's going to help." I said pulling his hands from the kitchen equipment and around me.

"It's not going to, what HYDRA did to me isn't going to be fixed by talking about feelings and emotions." He said angrily.

"Try Bucky, for me. I miss you at night, Morgan does too. If not for yourself, do it for her." I said in a hushed voice not wanting Morgan to hear this conversation.

His head pressed forward against mine and after a deep exhale I felt his hand pull at the back of my neck. My lips pressed against his firmly as he held me closely against him. His lips were warm and wet against my own and I missed waking up to him in the mornings.

"Gross." Morgan said as she stood behind us holding a cleaned plate.

Even after 6 years with each other we both blushed. I pulled away and took her clean plate and Bucky picked her up over his shoulder. I heard her giggling as he took her down the hallway into her room which used to be my guest room. It was now a bright blue color as Peter had helped her paint it and decorate it while we we're moving in and she was obsessed with it. I heard Bucky talking to her and after a few moments he came back out.