𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋! | rodrick heffley/devon bostick

seventeen

( track 18: )

❝ does your mother know ❞
abba

0:00 •—————— 3:16
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T/W :
a part of this chapter mentions emotional neglect. if this triggers you, you may scroll down and skip the part.

✦

nora's point of view

( SOMETIME IN JUNE 2010 )

"you're going mental, hazel." my mother spits as i felt her staring at me furiously. "after all the things i did to you, hazel. you never appreciated them—i raised you, fed you, gave you everything that i wished i have as a child. now, you're just going to tell your aunts that i raised you wrong?" she raises her voice.

"i told you, the only reason why i did it was because my cousin offered to help me. i never said that you were a bad parent to me." i quietly respond whilst being on the floor. "i didn't want to tell you because i know we won't have enough money for therapy and it'll only stress you out."

"but hazel, this is a big decision you are making! you can't just make your own decisions without me knowing!" while mom shouted, the telephone started to ring once more. "great, thanks to you, now my sisters think that i'm hurting you." she scoffs.

at this point, i didn't want to respond anymore nor talk to anyone at all. i just want to be in my room and forget all of this happened. i'm done sharing all my thoughts with my parents.

but at the same time, i just want to stay here on the cold hard floor and act like i do not exist in this place. i already poured all of my strength and energy to defend myself, but none of them helped at all.

"and...and do you even know what happens when you take antidepressants? it's fucking bullshit. i took them when i was working for our needs, everything felt flat. i almost got hit by a car just because of it!" she shouts again.

yeah, no shit. that's how antidepressants are supposed to work is what i could've said but i would just make the argument even worse.

"if i let you take the medicine, you'll never stop. you'll end up like a drug addict. don't you ever think of that, hazel? or are you just that full of yourself?" she questioned, which felt like a hit in the chest. "your diagnosis here say that you're suicidal and have low self-esteem and that just...baffles me so much. you earned so many achievements this year, how the hell did you get low self-esteem?" mom shook her head and chuckled. "i'm done here. richard, you go talk to your daughter."

"bethany, it's midnight. i've had enough of this!" dad say as i heard him hit something downstairs.

i shut my eyes tight, hoping this nightmare would stop. i told my aunt that it wasn't their fault and that they shouldn't blame them, yet they did the opposite.

"now what are you going to do, huh? now that you're diagnosed, how are you going to deal with it hmm?" mom continued to bicker as she walked towards me, making her voice grow louder and louder. "how are you going to get a job? you know, when you're diagnosed with a mental illness, you'll lose your chances of getting hired..."

"mom, that's enough–"

"when i used to work, our company tends to decline clients that have mental illnesses on their medical history." mom cuts noelle's words. "you know, you're not even depressed. you're just acting like this because your friends influenced you into acting like a lunatic."