Ordinary Girl ; me au

Chapter 42

I flutter my eyes open from my deep nap. I prop myself on my shoulders on the couch seat and rub my eyes. I get up and drink a glass of water really quick. I drag myself upstairs so I can rest with Matt and open the bedroom door. The room always smelled like him which is what fascinated me more. "Hey Matty." I groggily mumble. His hair was down and covering his forehead, making me stare in awe. He sat on the corner of the bed, his head tilted low. "Matt?" I ask. I walk towards him and see him holding something. My journal.

"Matt I-" "Y/n." He interrupts me. He faces me and my eyebrows shoot down in dissapointment as his eyes flushed with tears. "Matt, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I plead. "Is this what you've been doing? While I was gone?" His voice cracks. I held my head low and nodded as I felt tears brim in my eyes. "Baby, I-." He stops. He closes the book and throws it down, immediately palming his face. The depressing and awkward silence filled the air. I hurry to the bathroom.

I close the door and lock it, dropping down to the floor. I hug my knees and sob lowly, taking big gasps. I feel like such a let down. I'm so pathetic. This is already the fourth time and I never knew he would find my journal. And most importantly, I can't bare to see Matt cry. Not again. I hear his soft sobs and sniffs from across the wall as I rest my head against it. A few minutes later, I hear footsteps coming my way.

"Y/n." A deep calm voice says across the door. I close my eyes. "Baby, open the door." He added. I want to but at the same time I don't because I know that if I opened the door, he would be crying. "Y/n." He repeated. I stand up and slowly unlock the door. I look down as I open the door, staring at his socks. He walks closer and I feel his stare. "I'm sorry Y/n. I didn't want you to feel that way. I never knew you felt all these things towards me," he continued.

"I'm sorry for making you feel lonely, I wish I could've done something to help you prevent from ever doing that again. I don't want you hurting. Physically or emotionally. Hurting yourself won't fix anything. You'll just damage your skin and it won't do anything but leave a scar." He finished. My head stayed low as I frantically wipe my tears away. "Look at me." His soft voice demanded.

I close my eyes and stay down. He lifts my chin up and a tear falls from my eye. "Open your eyes." I open my eyes and look away. "I-I. I can't look at you right now." My voice was barely audible. "Come here princess." He cooes. He hugs me and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist gently and close my eyes, freeing my tears. He sits on the bed and I stay on his lap, extending my legs. I sniff as I take in his sweet vanilla scent. Without warning, he pulls my sweats down to my knees, quickly yet softly, leaving me in my panties.

His eyes darted towards my thighs. I close my eyes and look away, biting my lip as I wait for his response. Multiple tears now fell from my face. I let out a shaky exhale as I feel his hand rest on the side of my thigh gently, examining my now one month old scars. He checks one and then the other. I avoid eye contact at all time. I feel something wet drop onto my thigh and he quickly wipes it away with his thumb. "My beautiful angel." He mutters. He sniffs and traces his finger side to side on a certain scar.

I curiously take a quick glimpse at which he was tracing. It was the deepest one I had. I now face towards him. He suddenly pulls my body down. He leans down and gently kisses my scars, taking his time. He grabs my wrist and kisses up my arm; he repeats on the other arm. He makes his way up. His kisses trail from my shoulders to my collarbone, to my neck and my jaw, my cheek and then my entire face. The last kiss was placed on my lips and he rested both his hands on the sides of my face.

He pulls away and looks at my eyes deeply. "Y/n, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I don't care how many times you have broken this promise, just as long as I'm there every single time to make sure you don't do it again. I admire the thought you put in it. And I admire how much I really mean to you because you mean just as much to me."