Ordinary Girl ; me au

Chapter 1

Introduction

Hi, my name is Y/n & I am 16 years old. I live in New Jersey and I am an only child. My parents got divorced when I was just 7 years old & my mom's always busy working. There's nothing interesting about me really. I like singing most of the time. I like watching horror movies & eating ice cream. Nothing special. I like being creative & trying new things. I also love writing. You should probably know that at school I get bullied by everyone. They harrass me with words like "Whore, fatass, ugly, no-life, waste of air, bitch," etc. I never knew why they bullied me. It all began when I first started middle school.

When I got to middle school, I noticed that people judge others on what they wear, their looks, & their likes/dislikes. I had a lot of learning to do. Maybe it was because of my looks or the way I dressed. I know for sure I looked like a hot mess. Take "hot" out for the moment. I lost the people I cared about due to the fact of the many false rumors. I always felt alone and was quiet. Along the ending of 6th grade, a rumor spread around the school that I slept with an eighth grader. That ruined basically all the chatter in the school & made it worse.

People would now start threatening me and beating me up. Around the beginning of seventh grade, I felt as if I'd be stuck in the same rut over again. And I was. I had no confidence whatsover and I sure as hell am not lucky. I started self harming. I was terrified, I didn't know what I was doing but at the same time, I did. It's something unexplainable. I'm probably making no sense. I knew that it wasn't the solution but that only crossed my mind momentarily whenever I'd graze that sharp blade against my skin.

I remember the first time I had done it. It stung a lot at first but it became something like an addiction and a habit. I did it everyday, after school or when I was alone at home, which was every day. I still self harm till this day. I've had suicidal thoughts before but I never attempted doing it because I would either be terribly afraid of the impact or I just find a rare, unknown light saying I should wait some more time. And if I would try, I'd back away.

But I highly doubt anyone would care if I was gone anyways. Away from this horrible, dark world. Thinking about being away is something overwhelming. Thinking of being in a place with no harm and no suffering whatsoever is even more relieving. I don't remember the last day I've cracked a real smile. All my smiles are an act whenever I see teachers or I have to be polite. Nowhone or nothing can make my smile real and affective. I just want a friend or just someone. Anyone.

Someone I can talk to. Someone to be there for me. Someone to pick me up when I'm down. Someone to make me smile. Someone to teach me how good life really is. I don't consider myself suicidal, but I know that if this continues sooner or later, I will get bored of it and simply give up on this everyday torture we all call "playing around."

A/N : There you go, the first chapter. I tried my best in this but it will get better, I promise. If anyone you know is being bullied or self harms, speak up. Help them. & if you yourself are going through this please talk to me I can help you. I will listen to everything you say. I'll try my best to put a smile on your face. But anyways I hope you guys liked the first chapter and I'll post the second chapter soon. Bye!

OKAY HEY ITS ME . JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I WAS YOUNG WHEN I WROTE THIS AND BY YOUNG I MEAN A YEAR CAN REALLY CHANGE YOU SO I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISSPELLED WORDS OR ANYTHING THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE I EXPLAINED IT ALL IN THE LAST UPDATE OF THIS BOOK (: THANK YOU FOR READING WHOEVER YOU ARE AND LOVE YOU. x (: