Indecisive (Loki Laufeyson x Bucky Barnes x Reader)

CHAPTER 19

Y/N's POV:

The world seemed to stop moving.

I could feel my heart beating through my chest as our mouths moved simultaneously against each other's. 

My mind was on over drive.

His hands lingered on my face for a few moments until they slowly travelled down to my waist, his grasp becoming tighter—possessive—as he pulled me against him.

I couldn't help myself as my own found their way into his soft hair, grabbing and drawing his face closer.

His lips were addictive—a drug—and I couldn't help but want more. The soft skin of them fitting like a perfect puzzle pieces to mine, my blood heating in my veins.

Go find another family to rip apart, if yours and mine weren't enough.

You really thought I would kiss you? Do you think you have that effect on me?

I lifted my hands to his chest, moving to push him away but he just held me closer. This time biting softly against my lower lip.

A request.

I don't know why I let myself but I did. In a matter of seconds I had opened my mouth, accepting the request as his tongue slid in to greet mine.

My cheeks began to heat as he pulled away for a second, our breaths ragged as he places his forehead to mine.

I shook my head, "I can't do this. We can't do this."

"What if we pretend like we can, only for a moment." he asks, those green eyes staring into mine.

"No." I laughed angrily, "I'm not going to become another one of those girls you can just say you can't be with to have sex with them, so that you can get off on it." I began to pace away from him and turned towards him, my hand on my head "You were— are horrible to me."

He stayed silent.

"I tried to be there for you after everything you had said, I came back. Every time I came back. Maybe not in the way most people do but I was always still there. I didn't shut you out and I had every right to." I turned away from him.

"It wasn't just you who lost someone for fucks sake! You act as if you're the only one who was allowed to be upset and lash out at people. That your emotional trauma is worse than others." he yelled as he began to stalk closer.

"I never lashed out! I locked myself away from people for that reason and then tried to bounce back as best as I could. I tried to find a new normal for myself, and I had a small amount of people to help me through it because I didn't want to make it their burden to carry! You were awful to me even before yesterday, and don't play dumb. You know you were."

"And so what if I was?"

"And so what if you were?," I huffed "Are you seriously going to give me the 'I'm a god I can do what I want' talk right now? Don't expect me to wait for you hand and foot for when you need someone to distract you, someone you can play with."

"I wasn't asking you to."

"Good because I wasn't offering either. I'm done being someone people see as a chore. That I can't handle myself in the slightest of situations, that one second I might just do something crazy just because I feel like it."

"No one thought you were! You made that assumption off of things that you perceived in that way."

"Don't act like you haven't seen the way that everyone can carry themselves perfectly fine and no one runs to them constantly as if they're just another damsel in distress."