Indecisive (Loki Laufeyson x Bucky Barnes x Reader)

CHAPTER 29

My body was on fire. I could hear my blood pulsing in my ears as I knocked another shot back.

I couldn't remember how many I'd downed. Four? Five? I didn't care. They were the only thing keeping me from going out there and pushing him over the balcony. He'd survive thanks to his super human abilities or whatever, but damn would it hurt.

I could barely hear the voices and the music around me, my mind drowning out any sound as it replayed the moment I recognized Bucky standing out there with her. It was weird that I hadn't noticed at first. Usually I could recognize him from behind from any distance, but tonight he looked like a whole new person.

I don't know if it was the alcohol or the sheer will power keeping me sitting down on the bar stool. The leather sticking to my thighs as I began to burn up. He is who I was thinking about when I was buying my dress. He was who I thought about when I got my hair done, hoping that he would compliment it or notice it.

Gods I was stupid.

I can't remember when I began to stare at my empty glass, only the feeling of someone shaking me as they pulled me from my thoughts, "Hey, are you okay?" Steve began. I could tell he was worried, concerned that I had just told him I wasn't going to be drinking no later than an hour ago and now I was almost a bottle down.

"I'm fine," I muttered, loud enough so he could hear, "I just need some air." I began to stand up, finally needing to rid myself of this 'welcoming' party. The people became too overwhelming and I began to stumble around. It was suddenly too bright and too loud, the room becoming too small.

Steve reached a hand to my elbow steadying me. I held onto him for support as he led me through the crowd, a headache beginning to form in my right temple. I couldn't do this, not again. I would not cry, I would not feel sorry for myself. There were no rules, no boundaries to this relationship, but god did I ever want to punch him in the face right about now.

"Hey Y/N, woah hey, is she okay?" came his voice from behind me. What once made my stomach flip from its joyful sound, now made me want to hurl. The mere thought of him being in my presence for more then a minute was about to make me manic.

Perfect timing.

He reached forward to grab my other arm but I quickly moved out of the way, "Do not lay a hand on me ever again." I snapped hoping he could hear the pure venom in my tone.

"What the fuck is up with you tonight?" he retorted, a quizzical look now spread across his face. I turned to him, fists clenched at my sides willing myself not to swing at him.

"What the fuck is up with me, you self-centred asshole, is no longer any of your business." I was now fully facing him, disgust was the only thing that crossed my mind as I took in the tux he was wearing that had been in my room only hours before.

"Calm down, what the hell did I do?!" he reached for me again, this time I wasn't able to side step his grip.

I swatted him away, "If you want to play fucking dumb Bucky you can play dumb. I will not be apart of your fucked up games." I turn away walking to elevator and away from him.

He only followed.

"Look," he began, I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I pressed the up button, "I know I messed up."

And here we go. The go-to phrase that everyone jumps for once they know they did something wrong. If he thinks guilting me into thinking that just because he can take responsibility for his actions is gonna make me want to get in his bed— he's completely wrong.